Makeups

(This post is perfect for makeup beginners, like me, not experts. haha)

Hehe let's talk about girly stuff today (gedik sat :P). Today, I want to talk about makeup.

Hmm..when was the first time you guys wear makeup on a daily basis? (women only, of course. I don't want to know guys who wear makeup on a daily basis. If you do, keep it to yourself, please. haha)

Honestly I only started to wear makeup on a daily basis during my final year at college. (Before that I only wore powder and lipbalm, which is not a makeup btw). At that time, I forced myself to wear simple makeup everyday (foundation/powder, eyeliner and occasionally, lip gloss and mascara) because I reliazed that I would enter the career world once I graduated, and to me, every career woman need to have some makeup on to make them look more professional. When I say makeup, I don't mean covering your face with everything, just a simple powder, mascara/eyeliner, and lip gloss will do. And so, diligently, I wore makeup everyday, even on busy days, because I believed I would be busy once I entered the career world anyway, so I might as well practice to get used to it.

Since then, I have tried to learn the basics of makeup--how to choose the perfect foundation, how to apply the eyeliner, what are the makeup essentials, etc. And of course, during the learning process, I have embarassed myself by applying my makeup the wrong way, which made me look funny. But that's okay. I have learned from my mistakes, and I think now, I am able to apply makeup the correct way (I think..free to disagree haha).

Anyway, one of the important things about makeup, other than the techniques, is the type (or brand) of the makeup used. I have tried quite a number of makeup before, and now I have found some of my favorites. Let me tell you what they are.

(1) Foundation

I have a combination skin and it is quite sensitive/pimple-prone as well. Hence, finding the right foundation that does not irritate my skin (apart from the right facial cleanser and moisturizer) is important to me. Personally, I think finding the right foundation is the hardest process of all (I think most people would agree with this!). Firstly, most foundations tend to have a heavy feeling when you put it on your face--which I hate--especially liquid and creme foundation. The feeling is not that apparent when using a compact foundation, though. For me, the best foundation that does not give this feeling is mineral foundation, which I am currently using. Secondly, finding the right shade is owh-so-difficult. Being a southeast asian, I have a yellow-based tanned skin, but most foundations tend to be white or pink based. Everytime I bought over-the-counter foundation, I have never felt totally satisfied with my buy. All the foundations that I have used before tend to make me look like I was wearing a mask.

However, a few months ago, I found this mineral foundation from lovingminerals.com that matched my skin tone perfectly. The color was designed specifically for southeast asians' skin. When I put it on, I swear I looked like I was not wearing any makeup on, but the foundation gave me the coverage I needed. Plus, with it's dual function as a concealer as well, I could just take a concealer brush, dab it a little with the foundation, and cover all the scars that I have. I love love love the color. However, the downside of this foundation-concealer is that I need to use quite a lot of it, and it doesn't really stay that long compared to the other mineral foundation that I have used (Bare Escentuals). To me, Bare Escentuals foundations are at the same level as liquid foundations in terms of its 'staying' power, however, unfortunately, it doesn't have the perfect shade for me (apart from the fact that it is not sold in Malaysia).

(2) Finishing powder

I have to say my favorite is Mineral veil from Bare Escentuals. Mineral veil is just perfect. It makes my makeup stays and it makes my skin less shiny (I have oily skin, especially at the T-zone). However, since it is not sold in Malaysia, I have to find other alternatives. I used to use Maybelline's Loose Powder, which worked just fine, but I cannot find it anymore. Now I am using Silky Girl's Loose Powder, but I don't fancy it as much since I don't really like the smell and shade. I am still looking for the right replacement for the owh-so-loveable Mineral Veil.

(3) Eyeliner

Typically, the first eyeliner for most people is the pencil eyeliner. I have used it too, but I did not really fancy it since it's not as dark, and sometimes it was too stiff and hard that it hurt when I put it on. The softer ones however, tend to smudge easily. I tried liquid eyeliner after that, but it was too hard to control. Thanks to Mas, I tried Clinique's gel/cream liner and I loved it.

Gel liner is like the merged product of a pencil liner and a liquid liner. It has the intensity of a liquid liner, and is easy to control like a pencil liner. It is also perfect if you want to produce a smoky look as you can easily smudge it with a brush after application. I personally love Clinique's and MAC's gel liner since both stay on longer and don't smudge (I couldn't find Clinique's in Malaysia, though). Nowadays there are a lot of other brands producing gel liner, such as Maybellilne and Revlon, but I haven't had the opportunity to try them. I will, maybe, after I have finished using my MAC's (which I have been using for a year now, and I still have, like, 40% left. A good RM70 investment, I'd say).

(4) Mascara

I have short, straight, thin eyelashes *sob*. Finding a good mascara which can lengthen, thicken, and curl my owh-so-sad eyelashes, while at the same time does not smudge, is a challenge for me. After a lot of buying and trying, I fell in love with these two babies--Fasio's Power Stay Mascara 3D + Air Tech (Curl Volume), and L'oreal's double extension (tube technology) mascaras. Fasio's mascara stays on like a paint! No kidding! Rubbing, washing with water won't take it off, so it is perfect to be worn on days you think you would cry (haha). It, however, doesn't really thicken my lashes, but it lengthen them just fine. Perfect for a natural look, I'd say.

L'oreal's however, lengthen, thicken, and curl my eyelashes perfectly! It makes me look like I am wearing fake lashes! When I tried it on, I knew I had to have it! It stays on perfectly too, although it's not waterproof. I just love it. The effect is heavier than Fasio's though, so it is perfect for functions, I'd say. But you can still wear it everyday, of course, if you don't mind looking a little bit too made on a daily basis.

p/s: tips for muslims, don't let your waterproof mascara touching your skin when putting it on, so that you won't have to take if off while taking ablution :)

(5) Eye shadows

I haven't tried a lot of eye shadows yet, but I am currently using those from lovingminerals.com and absolutely like it! They are in powder form though, so you might need a little bit of practice before mastering it. Previously, I have tried creme eyeshadows, but I don't like them as much because they tend to crease. I'm yet to try pallete eyeshadow though.

(6) Blushers

I only started to use blusher about 2 weeks ago, so I cannot really say anything about this. But currently, I am using Maybelline's mineral blush in original rose. So far, I love the color, but it doesn't stay that long, I think. I still need to look at other alternatives.

Hmm..that's that I think. Care to share what your favorites are? :)

I am fasting today

I am fasting today. Need to start replacing those days I skipped..

Actually I did not make any niat to fast until this morning, when I wake up for sahur. Which means I wouldn't have fasted if I did not wake up on time. And I thought I wouldn't wake up on time since I went to bed quite late (12:50am).

Miraculously I felt my heart jerking at 4:58am this morning, and so I was awake. My alarm had not ringing yet since I set it to go off at 5:15am. Normally I would pull my blanket and continue sleeping but then I remembered these words uttered by one of the speakers during my marriage course:

"Kalau kamu terjaga malam2 tu, bermakna Allah nak kamu bercakap dengan dia.."

Then I remembered that I wanted to fast today. Allah tolong kejutkan rupanya. Alhamdulillah.

And so I pushed my blanket away and headed straight to the bathroom to take my shower.

Second chance

I sent an email to the deputy vice chancellor (academic) yesterday asking for the result of my application. However, she asked me to ask the registrar as she couldn't possibly remember all 30 cases that were brought up in the meeting last Tuesday.

I called the registrar today. And as expected, the person who is responsible for this thing is on leave (MC). She was on leave yesterday too. And I expect her to be on leave till the end of this year. Anyway, I called her assistant, and my calls were not picked up.

Then I got a call from Jinan. Apparently her luck was better and the assistant actually picked up her call. Jinan asked about my application. The assistant told her that my application needs further discussion by the Majlis Pengurusan Universiti (or something like that). The meeting is normally held every week, but since there will be a lot of people on leave next week, they will hold the meeting the week after. So, I still have to wait for another two weeks to get the result.

I am disappointed yet relieved at the same time. Disappointed because I still need to wait, but relieved because at least I know it was not rejected. And also relieved because I feel like I am given a second chance to pray my heart out.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Let me get this. I want this. I need this.

Amiiin~

p/s: Please pray for me people. I really need everyone's prayer. huhuhu

Of finding Mr.Right and saving money..

With all these wedding stuffs, it makes me realize two things.

(1) In search for the right one, the perfect man might not be our Mr.Right. What important is, he is the perfect one for us. He may have some flaws, or may even have a lot of flaws, but somehow we know that he is the right one of us. After all, no one is perfect right? Including ourselves. So, why do our Mr.Right has to be perfect? When we know he is our Mr.Right, we see perfection in the imperfection. But of course, one thing that I think everyone needs to have is the desire to be better--that includes ourselves, and our Mr.Right. People will change over time, so why not changing for the better with our Mr.Right?

(2) We know that wedding costs a LOT, but we tend to save for our wedding when we actually have found our Mr.Right, since saving before finding our Mr.Right may make us look dreamy/pathetic/living in a fantasy. But trust me, we will spend more when we have found our Mr.Right, so trying to save at that time is kinda pointless. So, to singles out there, start saving before it's too late! Just ignore what other people might say! (or just answer you are saving for a holiday oversea instead)

p/s: scholarship result today. *bit nails*

Lightheadedness

Have you ever felt lightheaded? How often?

I used to be active and strong ever since I was a little girl. However, I started to not able to stand up for too long when I hit 15. Everytime I needed to stand up for speeches etc., my stomach would feel funny and I would start sweating. Then I would start to feel lightheaded. Usually I would end up having to go out of the line and find a place to sit.

That feeling didn't occur often though. It would normally occur whenever I had to stand (not walking/jogging/running) for more than 15 minutes. And I never hit the point where I was about to faint.

However, it has gotten worst starting 2 years ago. I started to feel lightheaded whenever I jog on the treadmill for too long (more than 30 minutes), but it did not happen whenever I jog on the ground. But still, it was bearable, until recently..

For the past year, I have been feeling lightheaded after I jog, either on the ground or treadmill. And about a couple of weeks ago, during my BTN camp, I almost faint when I was in the line during our exercise session (it was neither too hot, nor long..I was standing for less than 30 minutes, I think). My stomach started to feel funny, then I started sweating, and my head felt light. Within seconds, I saw these white 'stars' started to covering my view, then I knew I had to rest.

As if it was not bad enough, since last week, I started to feel lightheaded most of the time, especially after meal, and it would last for hours. Sometimes it would happen before meals too, whenever I felt hungry. It's really irritating because I would not be able to focus on anything when it happened. It got better now though, after I consumed a lot of cockles last Saturday evening.

I looked online for possible explaination. Most of the people who experienced the same problem had hypoglycaemia (aka low blood sugar), or reactive hypoglycaemia (aka low blood sugar after eating). Is there a possibility that I might have it? Or is it just I don't have enough blood? (which I kinda doubt because my palms are red). My late grandmom had to consume a lot of iron at one point because she did not have enough blood. Could it be genetic?

Anyone has an explaination? Should I go to see a doctor?

Perkara-perkara yg saya pelajari ketika BTN

Dah taktau nak buat ape ni. Tulis blog lah.

Hmm hari ni mari menulis pasal topik2 dalam BTN ari tu.

Basically BTN ari tu citer pasal sejarah Malaysia, starting from kurun ke-7 lagi. Sejarah dari kurun ke-7 ini adalah penting untuk menceritakan tentang perlembagaan, specifically what people call as kontrak sosial (walaupon dalam perlembagaan tiada tertulis perkataan kontrak sosial sebenarnye).

Anyway, pada kurun ke-7, Nusantara (read: tanah2/kepulauan di Asia Tenggara) merupakan satu tamadun, yang dikenali sebagai tamadun Melayu, sama seperti tamadun China, tamadun India dan sebagainya. Apabila penduduk dalam sebuah tamadun itu berhijrah ke kawasan lain dalam tamadun yg sama, dia tidak dikira sebagai pendatang. Kefahaman terhadap konsep ini adalah penting kerana pada masa sekarang ramai org yg mempertikaikan bahawa org Melayu di Malaysia adalah pendatang juga kerana kebanyakannya nenek moyang berasal dari Indonesia. Tetapi sebenarnya tidak, kerana asalnya orang Melayu adalah dari Kepulauan Melayu. Anyway, bezanya tamadun Melayu dengan tamadun China dan India adalah, tamadun Melayu terpecah kepada beberapa negara akibat kedatangan kuasa2 penjajah yang berlainan.

Semasa orang2 Melayu berjuang untuk memperoleh kemerdekaan dari British, orang2 Cina dan India pada ketika itu berdepan dengan dilemma kerana mereka bukan warganegara di Tanah Melayu. Ini bermakna, selepas kemerdekaan, mereka either akan dihantar pulang ke China atau India, atau ke Britain (sebahagian org China dan India yg dibawa masuk ke Malaya pada waktu itu mendapat kerakyatan Britain). Tetapi, dengan keadaan hidup yang rata2nya lebih stabil di Tanah Melayu, org Cina dan India pada waktu itu tidak mahu pulang ke tanah air mereka kerana keadaan ekonomi yg lebih lemah di sana. Pulang ke Britain pula bermakna mereka akan terpaksa bersaing dengan penduduk asal di sana yang sudah jauh lebih maju (perlu diingat pada waktu itu org Cina menguasai perniagaan, dan org India menguasai estet2 di Tanah Melayu). Jalan lain yang tinggal untuk org Cina dan India pada ketika itu adalah dengan menjadi warganegara di Tanah Melayu.

Namun begitu, untuk memberikan taraf kewarganegaraan, suatu perjanjian perlu dibuat untuk mengekalkan kestabilan dan keharmonian negara. (Perlu diingat, pemberian kewarganegaraan pada waktu ini melibatkan jumlah yang besar; bayangkan jika kita memberi kewarganegaraan secara serentak kepada semua pendatang asing di negara ini sekarang). Dengan pemberian kewarganegaraan, org Cina dan India perlu bersetuju dengan Raja-raja Melayu sebagai ketua negara, agama Islam sebagai agama rasmi, Bahasa Melayu sebagai bahasa rasmi, dan juga hak2 keistimewaan orang Melayu. Jika kita lihat kepada tiga perkara yg awal (Raja2 Melayu, agama Islam, dan Bahasa Melayu), perkara2 itu bukanlah sesuatu yg baru yg dibuat sebagai pertukaran kepada kewarganegaraan yang diberi; perkara2 itu adalah perkara2 tunjang yg memang telah diamalkan di Tanah Melayu sejak berkurun2 lamanya. Ianya seperti ikrar kesetiaan kepada negara yg ingin dimasuki. Perkara yang baru hanyalah hak2 keistimewaan orang Melayu (dan kemudiannya termasuk Bumiputera), dan inilah perkara yang menjadi pertukaran dengan taraf kewarganegaraan yang diberi. Namun, kita perlu sedar bahawa dengan pertukaran ini, orang2 bukan Melayu juga mendapat hak mereka sebagai warganegara, dan di dalam perlembagaan ada menyatakan bahawa Raja2 Melayu perlu menjaga kedua2nya--hak2 orang2 Melayu dan bukan Melayu. After all, kita semua adalah rakyat Malaysia.

Bercakap berkenaan rakyat Malaysia, sebenarnya rakyat Malaysia terbahagi kepada tiga kategori: (1) Melayu, (2) Bumiputra, dan (3) warganegara. Melayu adalah seseorang yg beragama Islam, bertutur Bahasa Melayu dan mengamalkan adat istiadat Melayu. Mengamalkan adat istiadat Melayu dalam konteks ini bermaksud paling kurang salah seorang ibu atau bapanya merupakan seorang Melayu. Kiranya ia menggambarkan pertalian darah. Bumiputra pula merujuk kepada orang2 asli di semenanjung, dan ras2 asli di Sabah dan Sarawak. Suku kaum Melayu di Sabah dan Sarawak juga termasuk dalam kategori Bumiputra, dan bukan kategori Melayu. Ini adalah kerana Sabah dan Sarawak bergabung dengan Persekutuan Tanah Melayu untuk menjadi Malaysia selepas perlembagaan telah digubal. Namun begitu, mengikut perlembagaan, Bumiputra juga mempunyai hak2 yang sama seperti Melayu. Warganegara pula merujuk kepada taraf kewarganegaraan yang diberi, iaitu org bukan Melayu atau Bumiputra.

Di samping itu, kami juga didedahkan dengan kesan2 yg akan terjadi sekiranaya perlembagaan dipinda. Contohnya, pelupusan perkara 153 dalam perlembagaan (hak2 keistimewaan orang Melayu) akan menyebabkan hilangnya taraf kewarganegaraan bagi org bukan Melayu (perkara 153 ada juga menyebut tentang hak2 orang bukan Melayu). Begitu juga dengan kes Azlina Jailani (Lina Joy) yang meminta gugurnya perkataan Islam dari kad pengenalannya. Mengikut perlembagaan, org Melayu mestilah beragama Islam (tidak seperti org bukan Melayu, org Melayu di Malaysia tiada hak untuk menukar agama, walaupun pada realitinya ada yang murtad..itu adalah urusannya dengan Allah), dan ini menerangkan mengapa Azlina Jailani kalah dalam perbicaraannya. Sekiranya dia menang, kemenangannya boleh menyebabkan perkataan Melayu di dalam perlembagaan (ada 38 kesemuanya) menjadi void, termasuk Raja-raja Melayu, dan ini akan menyebabkan negara kita menjadi sebuah negara republik (yang pada pendapat saya, lebih tidak stabil, kerana lihat sahaja sekeliling kita. Politik sekarang yang agak terkawal dengan adanya raja-raja ini pon sudah ntah apa2, bayangkan sekiranya negara kita menjadi negara republik, semua nak berebut kuasa). Namun begitu, apa-apa pindaan yang ingin dibuat ke atas perlembagaan yang berkisar dengan orang Melayu akan memerlukan kelulusan Majlis Raja-raja. Ini merupakan satu benda tentang perlembagaan yang saya rasa membuatkan ia begitu unik dan kukuh.

Selain dari itu, konsep asas pentadbiran negara dan konsep 1Malaysia juga diberikan penerangan. Yang saya maksudkan dengan konsep asas pentadbiran negara ialah negara kita mengamalkan demokrasi berparlimen dan raja berpelembagaan. Sekiranya sesebuah negara mengamalkan konsep demokrasi sepenuhnya, ianya bermaksud kuasa mutlak di tangan rakyat, manakala konsep beraja sepenuhnya bermaksud kuasa mutlak di tangan raja. Tetapi negara kita berada di tengah2--both raja dan rakyat have a say in pentadbiran negara. Demokrasi berparlimen bermaksud, since penduduk negara kita mencecah lebih 27 juta ramainya, adalah mustahil untuk semua berkumpul dan memberi pendapat tentang pentadbiran. Lalu negara telah dibahagikan kepada 222 bahagian, dan setiap bahagian akan menghantar seorang wakil untuk mewakili mereka. Inilah yang dikatakan demokrasi berparlimen; rakyat menghantar wakil untuk menyalurkan pendapat mereka ke parlimen. Raja berpelembagaan pula bermaksud raja masih memerintah, namun kuasa mereka terikat dengan apa yang dinyatakan dalam berlembagaan.

Konsep 1Malaysia pula bukannya bermaksud semua rakyat mempunyai hak yang sama rata. Kita bukan negara komunis. Hak kita memang berlainan berdasarkan keperluan. Keyword untuk konsep 1Malaysia adalah 'penerimaan'. Ianya bermakna, kita sebagai rakyat Malaysia menerima bahawa kita semua berbeza, namun kita semua adalah rakyat Malaysia.

Basically, itulah perkara2 penting/asas yg dibincangkan di BTN. Bagi saya, ianya tidak perkauman kerana setiap kenyataan dilampirkan dengan fakta (Fasilitator saya akan menyuruh kami merujuk buku perlembagaan on the spot, lengkap dengan nombor perkara, bagi setiap jawapan untuk persoalan yg kami ajukan. Kagum). Mungkin jika kita membuka minda kita untuk mendengar setiap penerangan tentang negara kita, kita akan sedar bahawa negara kita Malaysia merupakan sebuah negara yang unik, yang terbina atas persefahaman antara kaum.

Saya cinta Malaysia.

p/s: sekiranya ada persoalan tentang apa yg saya tulis, sy akan cuba menerangkannya dengan lebih terperinci berdasarkan apa yang saya pelajari, namun saya bukanlah pakar perundangan. Jika soalan terlalu mendalam, mungkin kita perlu rujuk kepada yang pakar.

p/s: owh btw, tambahan. 'Ketuanan Melayu' merujuk kepada Raja-raja Melayu, dan bukannya merujuk kepada org Melayu sebagai tuan tanah ini atau sebegainya. Orang Melayu dan bukan Melayu semuanya sama sahaja..semua pun rakyat Malaysia.

The Two Aries

Aries is the first sign of zodiac.

According to the horoscope, people born under this sign is a natural leader. But I think that is not applicable to me. To my fiance...maybe. He was a prefect and the head boy and stuffs.

Anyway, that's not the point. I am not going to talk about zodiac and horoscope and anything along that line here..what I am trying to say is, I have a new blog. The blog was created a few minutes ago, so don't expect a well organized, beautiful, readable blog. The reason for the new blog is because I don't want to put too much personal stuffs in this blog, since this blog was initially created for me to post ideas, and anything that I think worth sharing (although I know I keep on breaking the rule lately. hehe).

*okay, writers' block due to sleepiness*

Anyway, do visit the blog if you want to know updates on my wedding preparation and anything down that line.

Good night!

Semester result

I got 4.0 for my last semester's result.

My first time getting a 4.0 since high school.

(Heck, did I even once got a 4.0 in high school anyway?)

But why am I not happy and jumping?

Instead, I feel guilty.

Hate it. Urgh.

I am officially engaged!

Today is December 12, 2009

It's my brother's 26th birthday

And my engagement day

I am officially engaged. Yeay!

Photos later, yeah? I am waiting for my friend (Ibik) to upload the pics.

Hehehehe

Anyway, let's look at some sneak peaks..

muka gembira dah tunang X)

top: cincin tunang, bottom: cincin risik

now the proposal ring has two new friends! (haha gedik gile)

The ultimate crap of all

It's 2:15am and I am getting engaged in approximately 9 hours

I am very sleepy, yet my dad doesn't let me sleep because everyone else is sleeping and he's scared that no one will wake up on time

I am sleepy, and will be the only person with a pair of sleepy eyes on her engagement day

Lalalala~

Anyway, putting sleepiness aside, I have found my ring back! Yeay!

My dad found it yesterday on the ground when he was sweeping all the leaves and stuffs. So apparently I did not flush it down the toilet. hehehe

Hmm.. what else should I crap?

Hmm..I'm going to do my own makeup tomorrow. Hopefully it will turn out well. I am not good with colorful makeup as I always use natural color (brown) for my makeup, but o well. Same techniques, different colors, that's all.

Hmm.. Ibik will be my photographer for tomorrow. And kakyah will come as guest. Other than that, all my friends are not free to come. That's fine. It's supposed to be a small ceremony anyway.

Hmm..what else?

I am sleepy~ (=.=)~~~

Of scholarship and a woman

I am getting engaged this Saturday. (yeay!)

However I can't really feel the vibes due to several problems relating to:
(1) scholarship
(2) a woman

Let's go to the first problem: scholarship.

The registrar told me a couple of weeks ago that they would hold a study leave meeting on the 9th of November. However, when I asked for the result today (10th November) they told me that the meeting was postponed to the 22nd November 2009. Then there will be another meeting within a week after that. The problem is, I have to send the acceptance declaration form together with a financial affidavit to ANU latest by the 23rd November 2009. I can't get the financial affidavit on time for sure. And so I sent an email asking to extend the dateline to ANU. Aaa~ hopefully they will consider..

Okay, second problem: a woman.

I am not against befriending the ex after a breakup. I mean, it's fine, as long as both parties know that they are done, and not crossing the limit. (Hey, I am a rational person, okay?) However, contacting your ex again to tell the problem that you have with your current partner is a big no-no.

I am a woman. As a woman, I know that when we tell our relationship problem to a friend, we are actually hoping the friend to understand our problem and console us. I also know that when a woman tells a male friend (especially her ex) about her relationship problem, she actually hoping the male friend to understand and become the 'replacement' for her partner. That's why it is very dangerous for a man to be the crying shoulder for a woman who has a relationship problem with her man. The man will most probably be the rebound.

I am a woman. As a woman, I know that they are at least two types of women on this Earth. One is the loyal women, and the other one is the attention-seeker women. The loyal women will stay by their men's side no matter what, and the attention-seeker women cannot stand being alone and always try to get men's attention, although they already have their own men. Unfortunately, the loyal women don't get that much attention from men due to their more reserved personality, while the attention-seeker women usually get the men's attention because of their usually pleasant (to most men, at least, or as other women call it, gedik) personality. Attention-seeker women usually can get away with almost anything, because they can just wink, and that is enough to melt the other party's heart. To relate to the previous paragraph, attention-seeker women usually tell their relationship problem to male friends, instead of their female friends, because of course, they want attention.

Another problem with the attention-seeker women is that they usually identify one man to be their sort of 'safety net'. The man is usually the loyal-type, who sticks to only one woman at a time, and may even stick to that one particular woman whom he really loves. The attention-seeker woman will usually make herself irresistible to the loyal man and become his one particular woman, so that whenever the attention-seeker woman does something wrong, the loyal man will not mind and forgive the attention-seeker woman anyway, even if the attention-seeker woman actually cheats on the loyal man.

However, after a while usually the loyal man will finally gives up on the attention-seeker woman, and finds a loyal woman as his soulmate. The attention-seeker woman will seek for another man's attention, and the loyal man and the loyal woman will live happily together. A happy ending, isn't it? No. The problem arise when the attention seeker woman face a problem with her current man, and she goes back to the loyal man to tell her problem, in hope that the loyal man will accept her back, or at least be her crying shoulder. After all, the attention-seeker woman sees the loyal man as her safety net, doesn't she?

However, the loyal man has already given up on the attention-seeker woman, and he has his loyal woman by his side. Being a loyal man, he will turn down the attention-seeker woman's hope and stick to his loyal woman instead. However, being the attention-seeker woman, she will most probably try her luck by keeping on contacting the loyal man, knowing that the loyal man may one day accept her back since he had once stuck to her, and with the so-called pleasant personality that she has, she knows that the loyal man can't possibly hate her.

And so the insecure feeling kicks the loyal woman, as she watches the attention-seeker woman trying to seek for the loyal man's attention. As much as the loyal woman trusts the loyal man to remain loyal, she still can't ignore the capability of the attention-seeker woman.

p/s: I think I could turn into a psycho-gf. Hahaha.

Post BTN

I came back from BTN camp yesterday and I slept till noon today. Hohoho.

It was a good and enjoyable camp overall. There was no racism or political agenda being brought up. Of course both topics were brought up, but all were in the form of facts, so that doesn't count. Maybe those who refuse to accept the facts and refuse to think would say BTN is this and that. But of course, some facilitators/lecturers might have said things that sounded racist/political. However I can assure you the module was not. For me, every Malaysian should attend BTN, particularly the one that I just went (considering there are different modules for different target groups).

Anyway, I'll share with all of you what I learned from the camp. But not now..I'm just too sleepy and tired.

Good night everyone.

p/s: balik2 btn tros busy dengan preparation

Kursus Kenegaraan Biro Tatanegara

I got a mail this morning telling me that I would have to go to Kursus Kenegaraan Biro Tatanegara. It will be on the 3rd-7th December 2009.

Thinking back, that is exactly the weekend before my engagement day. Which means I must have prepared everything before going for that camp to avoid going insane at the very last minute. Going for a camp the weekend before the engagement day also means that I will definitely be more tanned/darker on the engagement day.

Darker on the engagement day....

DARKER on THE engagement day...

.....

Should I buy a new foundation after the camp, before the engagement day?

p/s: How I wish my skin would have golden hint to it when it tans, instead of dark brown that makes me look like I was just out of the oven.

Slow day

(This post is gonna be more a relax and less intense than those few recent posts..)

Hmm.. Today is quite a slow day. Came to work, ended up having to go to the restroom several times, chatted with mas, went out to have lunch at Alamanda, and without realizing it, it's already 2:30 pm.

So I started working on my study leave forms..

And I still cannot complete it because I don't have a couple of documents..

O well, worry about it later.

Anyway, I went out and bought myself a white braided belt yesterday. Finally I found one that was not too pricey. It was RM25 and it's not bad at all. The one that I had been eying on for a long time was RM40, so the belt that I bought yesterday was a good deal. Yeay yeay! :)

Hmm..I also bought myself a pair of platforms yesterday, after noticing that my 5-year old owh-so-loveable platforms were at the end of their lives. They were on 15% sale. Bought them for RM50.50. They were almost perfect. High-heeled yet comfortable. The only problem is, I'm not a fan of the color and design. They are too dull. I think I'm gonna get some gems to spice them up a little. Time to bring The Boyfriend to a little shopping! :)

p/s: Wonder why all the comfortable shoes are not sexy and pretty, and all the sexy and pretty shoes are uncomfortable. Even if some shoes are found to be sexy, pretty, and comfortable, they are usually not sturdy. I want a pair of comfortable, sexy, pretty and sturdy shoes, please.

Relieved (a little)

I went to see the Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academic and International) this morning. I was late 10 minutes for our appointment (erk?!). Thank God she was cool with it. I felt bad though. Huhu

Anyway, she said to deal with the officer in charge (yes, the one who's on leave for a week). She said the money is with the university now; they only need approval with MOHE. That means I can ignore about the MOHE-won't-sponsor-oversea-master-studies part. And when I told her that I was worried about having to pay the deposit before the dateline and that the dateline is kinda near, she said there's enough time. That made me relieved a little bit. Alhamdulillah.

It sounds quite promising, isn't it? But still, I cannot sit back and do nothing, since everthing is not confirmed yet. So the plan is the same, still--loan from bank (pay them back right away if I end up not using the money), while at the same time apply for all scholarships available.

Bismillahitawakkaltu'alAllah. Amiiin..

p/s: I am going to fill in necessary forms after lunch. Heck, the forms will take a whole day to be filled. (O_o)~

Fight till the end

Called MOHE this morning, asking about my letter. It went something like this:

(blablabla the same boring introduction)
MOHE: You sent the letter by yourself right? Not through your employer (UPM)?
Me: Yes, because the officer in charge is on leave for a week, and I am short of time.
MOHE: The problem is, you have to send the application through your employer, that's the only way for us to know that they have given you the permission to continue your studies abroad. And even so, we still have to see if there is a slot open for another scholar..
Me: Is there any other way? Since I am short of time now..
MOHE: No, you have to send it through your employer
Me: ......okay then. Thank you

This is my reaction after the phone call ---> ('___')

.....

Okay, I think I should think of plan B now.

Lets sort everything out.

Dateline for sending the Declaration of Acceptence to ANU: November 23, 2009 (I need to pay a fee deposit of A$5760.00 by then)

List of scholarships:
1) MOHE - no budget for oversea Masters study (although they sent a letter to the registrar, dated October 21, 2009 about the availability of a scholarship for tutors who are already offered a place in one of the top 20 universities). I can try applying anyway, although the whole process will definitely take at least a month and a half. By then, it's already past the dateline.
2) JPA - do not sponsor those who are working, having a CGPA less than 3.75, and applying for the scholarship more than 1 year after graduation. I am totally not eligible for it. But I can try applying for it anyway. Then again, the person said, the process would take around 2-3 months. It would be past the dateline, again.
3) MARA - application for Skim Pelajar Cemerlang will only be available at the end of the year/early next year. It will difinitely pass the dateline, still.
4) Endeavour Award (Australian Scholarship) - application will only open in December. And that's the second round of the application. The first round was last April. Percentage of getting: I don't know. But I'll try to apply for it anyway. Anyway, I think the whole process will take more than a month..so, it'll pass the dateline, still.
5) MOSTI - not for working people. I will need to resign if I want this scholarship. Still need to look deeper into this.
6) Shell, Sime Darby, and other private sectors - Haven't look into these, yet.

Hmm..it looks like all the scholarships will take more than a month to process. And I only have exactly 5 weeks from today to return the Declaration of Acceptance.

Hmm..I think I will gamble on this.

A$5,760.00 = RM18,027.21

I think I will make bank loan to pay for the deposit first. At the same time, I will apply to all scholarships available. Hopefully someone will sponsor me. Amiin.

Bismillahitawakkaltu'alAllah.

p/s: One main reason why I will fight till the end for this is because the day before I got the offer letter, I was thinking on registering for the GRE test the next day. And also, I did a serious solat hajat, wishing to continue my studies abroad and to get married soon. And of course, I also wished for a better, smooth life, and for a stronger iman. The moment I got the offer letter, it really felt like this is it. It was a very strong instinct. As if I know that this is the path for me. It felt like Allah had granted my wish. Now it's up to me to make it real.

Sponsors, scholarships and loans

I've been actively looking around for scholarships since yesterday.

I went to the registrar today and the officer in charge was on leave for a WEEK. Her assistant said I need to have gone to Biro Tata Negara camp and submit the complete form, before they forward it to the Ministry of Higher Education. That will definitely take months.

So, I decided to go straight to the Ministry of Higher Education. They said;

MOHE: The problem is, we do not sponsor Master students for abroad studies..

Weird isn't it? Registrar said they will forward the form to MOHE...for nothing??

Anyway, I decided to go to Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam right after. They said;

JPA: The problem is, it's been more than a year since you graduated, and you are curently working. We only sponsor those who continue their studies straight away, and are unemployed. (other than needing to have a 3.75 CGPA which clearly I don't have). You can try submit the application, nevertheless.

I've also looked up MOSTI and MARA. MOSTI will only sponsor those who are unemployed, and the application for MARA's Skim Pelajar Cemerlang loan will be too late since they will only be opened sometime in December/January. There is another loan from MARA, but I will need to pay 100% of the amount I owe....RM200k. Erk?!

Being the stubborn me, I wrote an appeal letter to send to MOHE. I sent it this morning by hand, and I told the receptionist, "It's urgent." I will call the person tomorrow hoping he has started working on my issue urgently.

I have also made an appointment with UPM's Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academic and International) to discuss about sponsorship. It will be at 8am, November 19, 2009. Two more days.

Other than that, I have looked through scholarships available at ANU. Most of them are for developing countries, but somehow Malaysia was not listed. I guess they have already considered Malaysia a developed countries. Anyway, I have found at least one or two that I could apply for. The application will only be available in December though. Hopefully it is not too late.

Ahh.. when finally there is an apportunity for me to feel like I have a purpose again, lots of hindrances appear. Well, it is expected. Afterall, what is life without a little fight.

And I know, this is definitely worth the fight.

p/s: like how I 'fight' for our relationship with his mother, although I failed miserably. It was my first meeting with her. But I didn't care. He is definitely worth the fight as well.

What should I do?

I was surprised by an email this morning. It says:

Dear Ms Mohd Pushiri

I am delighted to offer you admission to a program of study at The Australian National University. Details are set out below:

Program: Master of Biotechnology (CRICOS Code: 052702F)
Program Type: Postgraduate
Commencing: First Semester, 2010
Indicative Tuition Cost: A$24,768.00 (per year)
Program Start Date: 22 February 2010
Standard Full-Time Duration: 1 Year

Okay, what should I do?

Currently in my mind, I have this picture:
-Call registrar and force them to give me a scholarship. They get sick of me forcing them, so they give me one, eventually (haha)
-Get everything needed to go study in Australia settled (passport, visa, etc)
-At the same time, get both families convinced to let us marry. They get tired of my continuous request, so they let us marry eventually. (haha)
-Get his necessary documents to follow me to Australia settled too
-Happily flying off to Australia with the beloved husband :)

Okay, back to reality.

The reality is: The dateline for scholarship application was on November 5, 2009. And today is November 13, 2009. I am already 8 days late. *jatuh tergolek2 masuk gaung*

What to do what to do what to do

Am I on the right job?

I watched a program called "Outstanding Malaysians" on TV yesterday. It was on Chef Wan, who are now internationally known.

I learned from the program that Chef Wan was once working in the banking industry (as an accountant, I think) for seven years, before quitting his job and pursuing his passion in cooking. He sold his house, and traveled to California to learn culinary art. He graduated as the best student in his class, and since then he has been cooking all over the world.

Chef Wan's determination to pursue his passion really caught my attention. I admired his determination, hard work, and self-confidence. He gambled everything that he had at that time to pursue his dream. And this makes me think of my life right now.

Am I on the right career?

Living in Malaysia, where the society would most probably 'force' us to do Math and Science at the first sight they saw that we could do it, makes me basically did not have much choice other than studying science and become a scientist. As one of the top students in my primary school, I was offered to go to a boarding school, where everyone had to study pure science. Going into college, I chose biotechnology, as I loved genetics and I did not want to study pure genetics. I did not consider any other choices, as scholarships for other fields were scarce and I did not have any formal education on them.

However, during my college days, I found myself struggling to succeed. Biochemistry could not penetrate well into my brain. I could not make myself remember all the family names of the animals. I even got a C+ in the subject that I was so eager to learn--bacterial genetics. However, I got A's in all the Japanese classes I took. I even found myself very eager to master the language and to study the culture. Unfortunately, Japanese is not my major. And again, I found myself stuck in science.

Now, working as a Tutor, I know I am on the right track to become a scientist. After college, and when starting this job, I was so eager to study Environmental Biotechnology in depth. I was eager to do my own experiments, to learn new things, to know all these mysteries that mother nature had for us. Studying locally or abroad was not a big issue since I believed I could learn the same thing and get the same Master and PhD degree regardless of the place of study.

However, as I started my grad school studies here, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Every class drained my energy. In no time, I realized that I had lost the eagerness and enthusiasm that I had before. My brain did not move as fast. My body did not move as fast. I have turned into a zombie. I work because I need to, not because I want to. I have lost the essences that make me, me. The goal that I have set seem too vague now. I am starting to look for other options. Other career choices.

But then again, I cannot find a thing that I am really passionate about. Maybe that's one of the things that makes it hard to be me. I am too cool and too indifferent about everything that I don't feel too excited about anything. I know I love playing music, learning new languages..both give me satisfaction, but none is my passion, I think. I do not google anything about music or languages. I can do both well, but I know I am not good when I start to study it deeper.

Recently I have started to think about starting my own business. But then, what do I sell? Cakes? Cookies? Dresses? Do I have the time? Can I really make money out of it? Do I have enough knowledge and experiences to start a new business? Owh, I remember, I got a C+ in Business Administration 6 years ago..the course that everyone else got an A. I think that explains everything.

I can't deny that I am in a very insecure and confusing state right now. Theoritically, I am in a job that I should be thankful for. However, in reality, I kinda feel like changing jobs, but obligations make me stay. I need some assurance. Something that can reminds me of my long lost enthusiasm and goal.

And so, I did a career test.

This is what I got:

My personality type is INTJ (Introvert, iNtuation, Thinking, Judging)

INTJ: "Scientist". Most self-confident and pragmatic of all the types. Decisions come very easily. These are the most independent of all types. They love logic and ideas and are drawn to scientific research. They can be rather single-minded, though.. 1% of the total population.

INTJ

INTJs’ precision thinking and need for accuracy causes them to be inflexible at times. Having thought out a strategy, the INTJ may stubbornly disregard those who they think have not spent as much time reflecting on an idea as they have. This, along with their drive to produce something significant, can make them demanding and difficult. If their plans and solutions fall short of their high standards, INTJ's feel pressured — as if everything is on the line. "Everything," for an INTJ, is the competence and ability to produce something significant. Fear of not living up to this expectation will increase their stress and possibly dissuade them from risking or trying out their ideas. They may then find themselves thinking about ideas that do not have a meaningful or productive end. When stress increases, the INTJ can become argumentative and disagreeable. Social interaction, which is not their strength, becomes increasingly difficult for them. Not trusting their own abilities, they become preoccupied with obsessive notions. The INTJ may then find themselves spending an inordinate amount of time fighting horrible thoughts, tempting absurdities, and feelings of worthlessness. Fearful of others recognizing their perceived failure, the INTJ incessantly ruminates about mistakes, inadequacies, weaknesses, ineptness, and incompetence. Because this distracts them from risking what little confidence they may have left in themselves, it therefore keeps them from obtaining the success and achievement they so desperately need. Careers This lists represent careers and jobs people of your type tend to enjoy doing. The job requirements are similar to the personality tendencies of your personality type. It is important to remember that this is not a list of all the jobs possible. And it is very important to remember that people can, and frequently do, fill jobs that are dissimilar to their personality... this happens all the time...and sometimes works out quite well. management consultant economist scientist computer programmer environmental planner new business developer curriculum designer administrator mathematician psychologist neurologist biomedical researcher strategic planner civil engineer intellectual properties attorney designer editor/art director inventor informational-graphics...designer financial planner judge

After reading about INTJ's personality, I think I really am in the state of the bold text above. The current program and classes do not reach the invisible standard that I have set, and so it makes me feel very dissapointed. However, it's good to know that I am actually on the right job. The only thing that is left to do is to make things in order again. Finding that eagerness. That enthusiasm. That energy. Finding me.

And thus, I am seriously thinking about continuing my studies abroad.

I know this decision will create conflicts with my personal life plan, but I believe if we do something sincerely, Allah will help us go through everything smoothly. InsyaAllah.

In memories..

October 30, 2008 - November 1, 2009

I accidentally flushed it down the toilet, I think. I did not notice it was not on my finger, until I was performing ablution. Although there is a high possibility that I really did flush it down the toilet, I am still hoping I will find it again someday.

It was the first ring from him.
The first diamond from him.
The ring he used to propose to me at the restaurant.

And I lost it.

:'(

I am angry

Found this article on utusan online, and I TOTALLY DISAGREE on what they are saying. I mean, if the system works beautifully, we wouldn't be seeing people click with their own kind all the time. Just look at school canteens, malls, buses, everywhere..people tend to stick to their own race, speak their own language. Why? Because we grew up that way! We never got the opportunity to fully understand each other when we were young, at the age where we try to comprehend everything, learn everything, know everything. When we got bigger, we had already been 'told' that this race this and that race that, and and they have stuck almost permanently in our heads. We tend to develop stereotypes towards other races due to our weak understanding towards others.

I mean, really, just look at other multiracial countries like the US. Everyone comes in from different background. They learn how to speak, read, and write in English. They go to American school. They introduce themselves as Americans, although at the same time, they are proud of their roots. The same goes to other multiracial countries like Indonesia. Why aren't these people fighting for their own schools?

It's weird, isn't it? Everytime someone suggests on having a one school system, there'll be lots of people against it. Why? What do they want, actually? Don't they want our country to unite? Don't they love their own country? I mean, as Malaysians, we should not be scared when we are asked to learn in Bahasa Malaysia or to mix with other Malaysians. Plus, I seriously believe that they will still teach Mandarin and Tamil in the school, so they should not be scared that the languages will finally extict, because they won't. Why are they so against it? Do they really want to be Malaysians, or do they want to be citizens of other countries? And plus, if they really serious about merging and unifying everyone together, they should have realized that the main reason that divide us is our school system. I mean, hello~ everyone else knows this~ duhh~

1Malaysia won't work if they stick to this attitude. 1Malaysia requires sacrifice from everyone, especially the leaders.

But instead, our leaders said these:

"Bagi sekolah Tamil, pelajar (India) akan berpeluang bergaul dengan kanak-kanak daripada kaum lain apabila mereka memasuki sekolah menengah,” -Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu

My @$$. Try going to those secondary schools and see how many students actually mix with other races.

"Ia bukan penghalang kepada perpaduan nasional, sebaliknya bantu menerapkan semangat bersatu padu di kalangan masyarakat majmuk,” -Datuk Dr. Wee Ka Siong

And you are calling yourself the Deputy Minister of Education? Bullsh*t. Tell me how it has helped in uniting us together.

Stupid. Frustrating. VERY frustrating. Deym.

I am angry.

p/s: Remember having chinese, indian, singh, and aboriginal in my class when I was in standard 1-3 and it was beautiful.

MIC dan MCA tidak setuju sekolah satu aliran
30/10/2009 7:52pm

KUALA LUMPUR 30 Okt. — MIC dan MCA menentang cadangan melaksanakan sistem pendidikan satu aliran, dengan mengatakan bahawa sekolah jenis kebangsaan yang ada sekarang tidak akan menghalang usaha ke arah mewujudkan perpaduan nasional.

Presiden MIC, Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu hari ini berkata, sekiranya cadangan itu dikemukakan dalam usaha menjalin perpaduan kaum, ada banyak cara lain lagi untuk melakukannya dan bukan melalui sistem pendidikan satu aliran.

"Bagi sekolah Tamil, pelajar (India) akan berpeluang bergaul dengan kanak-kanak daripada kaum lain apabila mereka memasuki sekolah menengah,” katanya kepada pemberita sebelum menyerahkan cek bernilai RM1 juta kepada lebih 50 kuil Hindu di sini.

Sementara itu, Ketua Pemuda MCA, Datuk Dr. Wee Ka Siong berpendapat sistem persekolahan pelbagai aliran patut diteruskan kerana ia tidak akan menjejaskan perpaduan di kalangan masyarakat majmuk negara ini.

"Ia bukan penghalang kepada perpaduan nasional, sebaliknya bantu menerapkan semangat bersatu padu di kalangan masyarakat majmuk,” kata Wee kepada pemberita selepas mesyuarat Jawatankuasa Pemuda MCA di Wisma MCA hari ini.

Dr. Wee yang juga Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran berkata, walaupun bahasa pengantar di sekolah pelbagai aliran bukannya bahasa kebangsaan namun ia tidak menggugat pelajar untuk menghayati konsep 1Malaysia.

- BERNAMA

When there are too many unusual cases, it's fake

There are at least three cases of standing praying mat in the news these past few days.

The pattern is the same--one praying mat 'leads' in front of the others, like an imam, and the others look like the 'followers' at the back, like the makmum.

The three cases happened one after another, in different states. After the first case was out in the news.

I mean, come on. They are fake, okay. Even if they might be real, I would say only the first one might have been real, but the others? Nahh~

The pictures show that the praying mats are so-called 'standing'. But to me, they aren't. Instead, they are in a position that is not even close to standing. It's like the center of the praying mats were pulled up and whoever did it adjusted the mats so that they hold the shape and let the praying mats stayed that way.

Come on..the praying mats are made of some kind of hard fabric, not the soft, flowing ones..They can hold their shapes better than the other fabrics. We can make them look like 'standing' if we want to. Can't these people see??

I bet those pranksters were busy laughing right now.

Reminiscing

I don't know what makes me think about the reason why I started blogging, but anyway, before this blog, I had (and still have, although inactive) a Multiply account. Before that I used Friendster's blog application. And even before that, I used to type about my earliest experience in the States at the Bulletin Board on Friendster (well, Friendster was the 'old-facebook', right?).

So anyway, when I opened my Multiply account, I managed to import all my entries from the Friendster blog, and now that I am using Blogger, I just link my Multiply on this blog.

However, I have never retrieved my post on Friendster's Bulletin Board.

So, I tried to retrieve them just now, and much to my surprise, the Bulletin Board was not there anymore. But thanks to those who actually read what I wrote and replied, I managed to get one my entries in my inbox. Heheh. I think I want to post them here, just for fun.

So, introducing *drum roll* the younger FizaPushie~!!

Hahaha poyo. Nothing interesting anyway.

O well, here goes..

Journal 14sept 2004

Ari ni start international student orientation. Kitorang breakfast pancake, waffle, scamble eggs..huhu~mas, udin, n izzah konon nak rase bagel, skali makan2, keras..haha!naseb baik

aku tak amek :-P

Orientation bosan gile kene dgr talk pasal staying legal..huhu~ade org germany kat sebelah aku

ckp kat aku diye bosan gile..haha~after that gi lunch..sedey gile..first time la aku makan salad

yg sangat hijau as aku punye lunch.memule nak amek salad yg nampak lebih sedap n colorful, tapi skali tgk ade letak wine..aku pasrah gile..last2 makan la gak salad yg tak sedap tu

After lunch kitorang jln2 tour campus..lawa rupenye ucd ni..n sangat besar..penat gile jalan..kat sini ade park yg ade tasik yg sangat lawa. Yg bestnye tu, tasik ni penuh ngan ITIK! Haha! Udin mesti gumbira jumpe kawan2 diye kat sini..kahkahkah!

After dat kitorang leh pilih aktiviti yg kitorang nak..kitorang pilih gi tour downtown davis, tapi last2 kitorang tak gi pon except udin..haha~kesian diye kene jalan jauh..kitorang tido kat room :P

The next activity is PARTY..7pm..huhu~sah la kitorang tak gi..cuak seh..esok ade orientation lagi..malas siot..aku nak tido~

p/s:owh, ari ni baru kitorang dapat register for internet connection..so bermulalah kehidupan

aku ngan internet kat sini..keskes:P n as for the weather, sini sangat lah windy n panas..takde awan langsung! Diye macam sejuk n panas at the same time..diye punye sunlight panas mcm kat Malaysia..tapi angin diye sejuk cam aircond..bak kate kumitaa, tak tau nak pakai sweater ke tak, n tak tau nak pakai sunglasses ke tak, n tak tau nak pakai cap ke tak..huhu!confuse~8-} tapi yg pastinye sangat kering la..sakit hidung aku~

A bling bling update

Yesterday I was wakened up by my dad at 4am. My parents were busy making roti jala out of 7kg flour and chicken curry out of 6 chickens. My dad did not get any sleep that night since he was busy cleaning and rearranging the house, so I was kinda needed to help them here and there. However, being sleepy and moody due to imbalanced hormones and a hurting arm, I only helped them till 6am--after performing my subuh prayer. Then I went back to sleep.

I woke up at ~8:45am and started helping in the kitchen--cleaning, marinating and frying some chicken, making some jelly, etc. My parents were out sending the roti jala and chicken curry to Hulu Langat. My sister was busy cleaning the hall. At about 12pm, my parents came back and they started to help us cooking and cleaning. Then my uncle and aunt came. Then my brother and sister-in-law. It was 1:20pm and I still haven't taken my shower nor brushed my teeth. What's worst than having a moody, emo, hungry and hasn't-yet-showered woman in the house. Hahaha. But of course, I took my shower and brushed my teeth after that.

It was 2:30pm, and they hadn't arrived yet.

3:00pm, still not arriving.

3:20pm, finally arrived.

My bf's family and a neighbor came into the house. They rushed to kiss and hug my adorable baby niece. Then the talk started. My aunt was the one who was doing all the talking since they basically speak the same language (cakap nogori). I was in the room playing Spongebob Collapse (people say the girl should not involve in the conversation, so I hid myself. haha), until I was called to serve some drinks to them. But instead, I made the drink and my sister-in-law served it. hahaha. So I missed the whole conversation. Anyway, after that they had a late-lunch and a long chat with my mom. They left at about 6:00pm.

At about 7:40, my bf and I went out to Jusco Setiawangsa. Bought myself a hair dryer and a pair of cooking chopsticks and my mom a new knife and cutting board (to thank her basically although I did not say it haha). My bf got a new haircut. Then we went to eat takoyaki while watching children playing at a water fountain outside the mall. It was then that I asked him about the conversation.

So I learned that the conclusion of the talk was:
Engagement day will be on December 12, 2009 (although the suggestion for this date was almost rejected)
Hantaran will be decided by both of us, which will be discussed.

All in all, yesterday was a relief for now we know the path of our relationship, compared to the more insecure position before. And I know that he will be my fiance in less than 2 months. haha.

One step is done, another two to go.

Hopefully everything will go on smoothly. Amiiin~

(usually people will say fingers crossed here, but I want to say sapu-tapak-tangan-dekat-muka, boleh?)

p/s: While wathing him having his hair cut, suddenly I felt some kind of excitement rushing down my veins. For the first time ever, I am curious and excited about the future.

p/p/s: Owh, of course, I have a new ring now. A total of two rings on my fingers. Photo later.

p/p/p/s: The reason why I always say I will post the photos later is because I don't have a functional card reader. The card reader that I have has never worked properly since the first day I got it in the mail. And it's too bothering to return it. So like, wutever.

p/p/p/p/s: (this is the last one, I swear) On a totally different topic, I was trying to buy RM50 worth of merchandise in a single receipt from Jusco so that I would be eligible to enter a contest. The total price of the knife, chopping board, and chopsticks was supposed to be ~RM52 (the hair dryer was in a different floor, so I could not pay them together). Much to my surprise, at the cashier, all of them cost ~RM46, not RM52. So apparently they have some kind of extra discounts for JCard members. Since it was less than RM50, I was not eligible to enter the contest. Deym.

random express updates

After asking some of my doctors and soon-to-be-doctors friends, and also after doing some research online, I am pretty convinced that I had chikungunya fever a month or so ago. I had all the major symptoms and my joints still hurt even after a month. Now because of that joint pain, I walk like what the heck.

I think I twisted my right shoulder in my sleep. Now my right arm hurts badly.

This Sunday my boyfriend and his family is coming to my house to see my parents and discuss about our engagement. Hehehe finally. Owh and next week I will be wearing another ring. Hehe *gedik*

Our ancestors said that if a butterfly is found flying inside a house, it means that someone is coming to ask for someone in the house to be his wife. Yesterday a butterfly flew happily around me, in my room, and today when I opened the office's door from inside, I saw a butterfly was resting at the door, before flying off when it saw me. Two butterfly in two days. What a coincidence.

Adding to the butterfly story, today I stepped on a (part of) caterpillar. I was sitting on my chair, shutting off the pc and stuff. Then I decided to go back, so I stood up. Suddenly I heard something being squished--like a pop sound or something. I looked down on the floor, and I saw a small pool of liquid. I was like, "What the hell is that?" I looked around the liquid, then I saw something that looked like a geico poop, but it wasn't squished. I looked around a little more..and at that time I saw a half caterpillar. I was traumatized, and my heel was green because the caterpillar was green. Euw euw euw.

I swept the office this morning a little bit more properly than a couple of days ago. But there you go, a geico poop in the evening. I swear I did not see a single geico in the office today.

Although I love the location of my office, I hate the fact that there are all sorts of animals and insects there. Normal ones: geico, cricket. Some unusual ones: squirrel, snake, and caterpillar. Maybe that's how an office at the Faculty of Environmental Studies looks like.

Owh, have I told you that the crickets love to die in the office? No, I am not kidding. It's like a trend.

Hmm..I am rubbing my eyes now. Later people, I need my beauty sleep.

Good night.


Edited 2:19pm October 16, 2009
Credit to k.z
Title: Stepping the caterpillar

1st anniversary

We have turned one year yesterday.

October 8th, 2009, 12:32pm.

We celebrated by having a good dinner at Tony Roma's in C@The Curve.

He ordered a grilled half-chicken with mashed potato and bean, and I ordered a ceasar salad with half salmon. He had iced lemon tea, and I had lime juice. And of course we did not finish the chicken. It was huge and we were stuffed to the max. There were no space for dessert. However, it was truly a great dinner date. I think we even got a discount. Heheh.

Baby,

Happy 1st anniversary, sayang. Thank you for loving me, staying with me despite my sometimes-tak-senonoh perangai and also my bully towards you (suro bukakkan pintu, angkatkan barang..hehe. But you are a natural). I hope to celebrate more anniversaries with you, till both of us turn wrinkly and grey and buncit. Till both of us having to need a wheel-chair to move. Till both of us having to need our grandchildren to feed us our anniversary dinner.

Yes, I love you that much.

Happy anniversary my baby boo(cuk) :P

Love you lots lots lots;
Fizapushie

p/s: Thank you for the famous amos cookies and the lovely card.

Complaints

I used to complaint on anything that I found not-up-to-standard in my younger years, until I learned that Islam kinda forbids its followers from complaining a lot. Lots of complaining will make us whiny. Since Islam is a way of life, and being whiny is not the way to live, so that makes sense.

Since then, one of my principle is, "Stop complaining, start working." And it actually worked; I stopped complaining, and I worked a lot.

However, I feel like I cannot live up to that principle anymore. Once I decided to stop complaining, I'd find something that would make me complaint.

Like today, just as I decided to stop complaining about how the program here does not teach the students how to write, I found another thing that makes me start to complaint again.

This morning, I got a courses catalog for next semester. It did not say if it's for undergraduate or graduate only, so I assumed it's a general catalog. Then I flipped straight to the Faculty of Biotechnology and Biomolecular Scieces. Seconds later, I learned that it only listed down all the undergraduate courses.

Deym. Deym. Deym.

Very unorganized.

Tolong la bagi guideline/guidebook ke ape so that students boleh organize diri sendiri. Susah nak plan okay. Ni rase nak lari ni. Naseb la I need the job. Haish.

See, I have started complaining again.

Aries

It's one of those times when I feel like doing/reading some useless stuff just to relax. And one of my top lists of easy reading is horoscope. Of course, as a Muslim, I do not believe in it. I read it just for fun.

Anyway, I saw one of my friends used this one application on facebook, called "Love Zodiac Profile." I was sleepy and tired, so like, what the hell, I clicked on it. Then I clicked on Aries. This is what I got.

Statements in large font are the things that I think are true, small font are the things that I think are inaccurate, and medium font are the things that I don't know its accuracy. The smaller the font is, the more inaccurate I think the statement is and vice versa.

Owh, statements in italic mean "wth??"

So here goes...

If you are Aries:
You are very romantic. You do not hold back your feelings and are very expressive in love and romance. You are very charming and amiable. In any social gathering, the opposite sex is attracted towards you. The opposite sex likes you because of your good looks and sociable nature. Since you attract so much attention from the opposite sex, your steady partner may feel jealous and possessive about you. But you are faithful to your partner. You are a very spontaneous lover. Your partner loves your little ideas of love and romance. You are a dynamic lover and wear the pants in your relationships.

Your kissing style:
You are a fantastic kisser. Your kisses are unforgettable.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:
passionate, very active, not very sensitive, effervescent, etc.

You are more compatible with - Sagittarius, Leo, Aquarius
You are less compatible with - Cancer, Gemini, Pisces, Virgo

Sekian my crap for today. Till my next hopefully-more-useful entry.