Life

Do you know how smart our body is?

Do you know that each cell in our body is like a very complicated and complex factory, making sure everything goes alright?

And every time I learn about how this enzyme works, how this gene is regulated, how this enzyme communicates with another enzyme..it has never failed to make me think about how amazing the whole system is. And also how this whole thing totally proves the existence of God.

I mean, such a very complex and very smart system totally need an extremely smart creator as well. I mean, even if we ever do learn about everything in a cell, even if we ever isolate and gather everything together to make our own cell, we still cannot make it work like the real cell. Even a real cell can stop working once it's dead, although all the components are still there.

SubhanAllah.

High IQ?

I bet all of you have taken IQ test at least once. I still remember my first IQ test. It was the last 'exam paper' that we had to sit during UPSR. It was not that bad I think. Since we'd actually 'practiced' for it in class before. My teacher provided us with past exam papers and we did them and discussed the answers. I remember arguing with my teacher on one of the answers. I did not agree with the answer she provided, because I was sure I was right. She ended up saying that if I didn't want to listen to her, I might fail the exam. But o well, I still answered the answer that I thought was right during the real exam. Yup, I am that stubborn when I am sure I am right. It even showed when I was 12. Haha.

Anyway, the second formal IQ test that I took was when I was 18 or 19. The Malaysian MENSA club organized IQ test at the University I was at (INTEC, UiTM Shah Alam). I had to pay RM32 for it. I was reluctant to take it at first because I hadn't been doing any IQ test for a long time, and I was scared I might fail. But my curiosity forced me to take it anyway. So I paid the RM32 and took the exam. The questions did not have any number or alphabet at all. Everything was in the form of figures. One question on one page.I don't really remember how long the test took. What I remember is on average we only had less than one minute to answer one question. I didn't finish them all, of course. I am one of those people who spend a lot of time on one problem at a time. If I am not mistaken, I left more than 10 questions unanswered. Haha.

A few weeks later, I got a letter from Malaysian MENSA. It was my test result. I was scared to open the envelope but I opened it anyway, of course. There it was. My IQ test result was 156. The minimum score to join the club was 148, if I am not mistaken. So I joined it. I had to pay RM50 for a year of membership.

However after a couple of years, I started to not see the meaning of joining the club anyway. Usually the activities were going for some gathering, which involved alcohol. And I felt that I did not fit in a way (although I have never gone to any gathering, but I can tell through email and magazine) because most of them were working and successful and rich, unlike me who was (and still am) studying, and not yet successful and not rich. And I am not that social either. I stayed in the club just because I thought having the membership might help me in getting a job or getting into graduate school. So, after some thinking, I just stopped renewing my membership.

So anyway, does having a high IQ make me special? Nahh~ I don't think so. I still got C and nearly failed in my classes haha. But maybe it helps in understanding some things that require imagination (I remember teaching my friend chemistry in high school and I kept telling her to imagine the process in order to understand it better, and she didn't get me haha). But still, I am still an average student.

I strongly believe although having a high IQ may help in certain things in life, it still doesn't promise a successful life. Motivation and serious effort still are the most important thing to achieve success. One can have a high IQ and having no future, and one can have a lower IQ and being all successful.

But still, it does feel good knowing that I have a high IQ. It's like a confidence boost. A motivation. Whenever I feel like failing, I would tell myself "You have a high IQ, you can do this!" Haha. But of course the sweetest thing of all is when I know that my IQ is higher than the smart student who always makes me feel stupid. It's like indirectly telling, "You know, you're not all that." Hehehe >:)

Eh, agak kejam di situ.

updates on wedding preparation and flying off

Suddenly I have some spare time and I've decided to write updates of my life.

Currently there are two big things happening in my life. First, is me getting married in 3 days. And second, is me flying off to Canberra in 2 weeks.

Let's go to the first thing first. Eh, thinking back, I'll write about it in my wedding blog.

So let's skip to the second thing--me flying off to Canberra.

I received the offer letter for my scholarship last Friday, January 31, 2010. A whole lot of things have to be done--acceptence of offer, contracts, visa, medical checkup, etc. Yesterday I went to IDP to accept my offer, and now I have to wait for a necessary document for visa application. I went to do my medical checkup last Monday, but since I'm having that-time-of-the-month, so I have to postpone it to next week. My mom and brother had done getting their bosses to sign the contract, and now my mom is on her way to send the contract to me. Next step is getting signature from any officer in my office. Then I will be done with the contract, I think. So tomorrow I can go to LHDN to endorse the contracts.

I have no other choice but wait for Monday to do my medical checkup before submitting everything to the Registrar. Urgh.

Anyway, despite having whole loads of things to do, Ajoy and me are going for our honeymoon on Monday. Hahaha! Well, I need some quality time with him before having to fly off without him, don't I?

Anyway, I am tired. (@o@)~

Second chance

I sent an email to the deputy vice chancellor (academic) yesterday asking for the result of my application. However, she asked me to ask the registrar as she couldn't possibly remember all 30 cases that were brought up in the meeting last Tuesday.

I called the registrar today. And as expected, the person who is responsible for this thing is on leave (MC). She was on leave yesterday too. And I expect her to be on leave till the end of this year. Anyway, I called her assistant, and my calls were not picked up.

Then I got a call from Jinan. Apparently her luck was better and the assistant actually picked up her call. Jinan asked about my application. The assistant told her that my application needs further discussion by the Majlis Pengurusan Universiti (or something like that). The meeting is normally held every week, but since there will be a lot of people on leave next week, they will hold the meeting the week after. So, I still have to wait for another two weeks to get the result.

I am disappointed yet relieved at the same time. Disappointed because I still need to wait, but relieved because at least I know it was not rejected. And also relieved because I feel like I am given a second chance to pray my heart out.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Let me get this. I want this. I need this.

Amiiin~

p/s: Please pray for me people. I really need everyone's prayer. huhuhu

Perkara-perkara yg saya pelajari ketika BTN

Dah taktau nak buat ape ni. Tulis blog lah.

Hmm hari ni mari menulis pasal topik2 dalam BTN ari tu.

Basically BTN ari tu citer pasal sejarah Malaysia, starting from kurun ke-7 lagi. Sejarah dari kurun ke-7 ini adalah penting untuk menceritakan tentang perlembagaan, specifically what people call as kontrak sosial (walaupon dalam perlembagaan tiada tertulis perkataan kontrak sosial sebenarnye).

Anyway, pada kurun ke-7, Nusantara (read: tanah2/kepulauan di Asia Tenggara) merupakan satu tamadun, yang dikenali sebagai tamadun Melayu, sama seperti tamadun China, tamadun India dan sebagainya. Apabila penduduk dalam sebuah tamadun itu berhijrah ke kawasan lain dalam tamadun yg sama, dia tidak dikira sebagai pendatang. Kefahaman terhadap konsep ini adalah penting kerana pada masa sekarang ramai org yg mempertikaikan bahawa org Melayu di Malaysia adalah pendatang juga kerana kebanyakannya nenek moyang berasal dari Indonesia. Tetapi sebenarnya tidak, kerana asalnya orang Melayu adalah dari Kepulauan Melayu. Anyway, bezanya tamadun Melayu dengan tamadun China dan India adalah, tamadun Melayu terpecah kepada beberapa negara akibat kedatangan kuasa2 penjajah yang berlainan.

Semasa orang2 Melayu berjuang untuk memperoleh kemerdekaan dari British, orang2 Cina dan India pada ketika itu berdepan dengan dilemma kerana mereka bukan warganegara di Tanah Melayu. Ini bermakna, selepas kemerdekaan, mereka either akan dihantar pulang ke China atau India, atau ke Britain (sebahagian org China dan India yg dibawa masuk ke Malaya pada waktu itu mendapat kerakyatan Britain). Tetapi, dengan keadaan hidup yang rata2nya lebih stabil di Tanah Melayu, org Cina dan India pada waktu itu tidak mahu pulang ke tanah air mereka kerana keadaan ekonomi yg lebih lemah di sana. Pulang ke Britain pula bermakna mereka akan terpaksa bersaing dengan penduduk asal di sana yang sudah jauh lebih maju (perlu diingat pada waktu itu org Cina menguasai perniagaan, dan org India menguasai estet2 di Tanah Melayu). Jalan lain yang tinggal untuk org Cina dan India pada ketika itu adalah dengan menjadi warganegara di Tanah Melayu.

Namun begitu, untuk memberikan taraf kewarganegaraan, suatu perjanjian perlu dibuat untuk mengekalkan kestabilan dan keharmonian negara. (Perlu diingat, pemberian kewarganegaraan pada waktu ini melibatkan jumlah yang besar; bayangkan jika kita memberi kewarganegaraan secara serentak kepada semua pendatang asing di negara ini sekarang). Dengan pemberian kewarganegaraan, org Cina dan India perlu bersetuju dengan Raja-raja Melayu sebagai ketua negara, agama Islam sebagai agama rasmi, Bahasa Melayu sebagai bahasa rasmi, dan juga hak2 keistimewaan orang Melayu. Jika kita lihat kepada tiga perkara yg awal (Raja2 Melayu, agama Islam, dan Bahasa Melayu), perkara2 itu bukanlah sesuatu yg baru yg dibuat sebagai pertukaran kepada kewarganegaraan yang diberi; perkara2 itu adalah perkara2 tunjang yg memang telah diamalkan di Tanah Melayu sejak berkurun2 lamanya. Ianya seperti ikrar kesetiaan kepada negara yg ingin dimasuki. Perkara yang baru hanyalah hak2 keistimewaan orang Melayu (dan kemudiannya termasuk Bumiputera), dan inilah perkara yang menjadi pertukaran dengan taraf kewarganegaraan yang diberi. Namun, kita perlu sedar bahawa dengan pertukaran ini, orang2 bukan Melayu juga mendapat hak mereka sebagai warganegara, dan di dalam perlembagaan ada menyatakan bahawa Raja2 Melayu perlu menjaga kedua2nya--hak2 orang2 Melayu dan bukan Melayu. After all, kita semua adalah rakyat Malaysia.

Bercakap berkenaan rakyat Malaysia, sebenarnya rakyat Malaysia terbahagi kepada tiga kategori: (1) Melayu, (2) Bumiputra, dan (3) warganegara. Melayu adalah seseorang yg beragama Islam, bertutur Bahasa Melayu dan mengamalkan adat istiadat Melayu. Mengamalkan adat istiadat Melayu dalam konteks ini bermaksud paling kurang salah seorang ibu atau bapanya merupakan seorang Melayu. Kiranya ia menggambarkan pertalian darah. Bumiputra pula merujuk kepada orang2 asli di semenanjung, dan ras2 asli di Sabah dan Sarawak. Suku kaum Melayu di Sabah dan Sarawak juga termasuk dalam kategori Bumiputra, dan bukan kategori Melayu. Ini adalah kerana Sabah dan Sarawak bergabung dengan Persekutuan Tanah Melayu untuk menjadi Malaysia selepas perlembagaan telah digubal. Namun begitu, mengikut perlembagaan, Bumiputra juga mempunyai hak2 yang sama seperti Melayu. Warganegara pula merujuk kepada taraf kewarganegaraan yang diberi, iaitu org bukan Melayu atau Bumiputra.

Di samping itu, kami juga didedahkan dengan kesan2 yg akan terjadi sekiranaya perlembagaan dipinda. Contohnya, pelupusan perkara 153 dalam perlembagaan (hak2 keistimewaan orang Melayu) akan menyebabkan hilangnya taraf kewarganegaraan bagi org bukan Melayu (perkara 153 ada juga menyebut tentang hak2 orang bukan Melayu). Begitu juga dengan kes Azlina Jailani (Lina Joy) yang meminta gugurnya perkataan Islam dari kad pengenalannya. Mengikut perlembagaan, org Melayu mestilah beragama Islam (tidak seperti org bukan Melayu, org Melayu di Malaysia tiada hak untuk menukar agama, walaupun pada realitinya ada yang murtad..itu adalah urusannya dengan Allah), dan ini menerangkan mengapa Azlina Jailani kalah dalam perbicaraannya. Sekiranya dia menang, kemenangannya boleh menyebabkan perkataan Melayu di dalam perlembagaan (ada 38 kesemuanya) menjadi void, termasuk Raja-raja Melayu, dan ini akan menyebabkan negara kita menjadi sebuah negara republik (yang pada pendapat saya, lebih tidak stabil, kerana lihat sahaja sekeliling kita. Politik sekarang yang agak terkawal dengan adanya raja-raja ini pon sudah ntah apa2, bayangkan sekiranya negara kita menjadi negara republik, semua nak berebut kuasa). Namun begitu, apa-apa pindaan yang ingin dibuat ke atas perlembagaan yang berkisar dengan orang Melayu akan memerlukan kelulusan Majlis Raja-raja. Ini merupakan satu benda tentang perlembagaan yang saya rasa membuatkan ia begitu unik dan kukuh.

Selain dari itu, konsep asas pentadbiran negara dan konsep 1Malaysia juga diberikan penerangan. Yang saya maksudkan dengan konsep asas pentadbiran negara ialah negara kita mengamalkan demokrasi berparlimen dan raja berpelembagaan. Sekiranya sesebuah negara mengamalkan konsep demokrasi sepenuhnya, ianya bermaksud kuasa mutlak di tangan rakyat, manakala konsep beraja sepenuhnya bermaksud kuasa mutlak di tangan raja. Tetapi negara kita berada di tengah2--both raja dan rakyat have a say in pentadbiran negara. Demokrasi berparlimen bermaksud, since penduduk negara kita mencecah lebih 27 juta ramainya, adalah mustahil untuk semua berkumpul dan memberi pendapat tentang pentadbiran. Lalu negara telah dibahagikan kepada 222 bahagian, dan setiap bahagian akan menghantar seorang wakil untuk mewakili mereka. Inilah yang dikatakan demokrasi berparlimen; rakyat menghantar wakil untuk menyalurkan pendapat mereka ke parlimen. Raja berpelembagaan pula bermaksud raja masih memerintah, namun kuasa mereka terikat dengan apa yang dinyatakan dalam berlembagaan.

Konsep 1Malaysia pula bukannya bermaksud semua rakyat mempunyai hak yang sama rata. Kita bukan negara komunis. Hak kita memang berlainan berdasarkan keperluan. Keyword untuk konsep 1Malaysia adalah 'penerimaan'. Ianya bermakna, kita sebagai rakyat Malaysia menerima bahawa kita semua berbeza, namun kita semua adalah rakyat Malaysia.

Basically, itulah perkara2 penting/asas yg dibincangkan di BTN. Bagi saya, ianya tidak perkauman kerana setiap kenyataan dilampirkan dengan fakta (Fasilitator saya akan menyuruh kami merujuk buku perlembagaan on the spot, lengkap dengan nombor perkara, bagi setiap jawapan untuk persoalan yg kami ajukan. Kagum). Mungkin jika kita membuka minda kita untuk mendengar setiap penerangan tentang negara kita, kita akan sedar bahawa negara kita Malaysia merupakan sebuah negara yang unik, yang terbina atas persefahaman antara kaum.

Saya cinta Malaysia.

p/s: sekiranya ada persoalan tentang apa yg saya tulis, sy akan cuba menerangkannya dengan lebih terperinci berdasarkan apa yang saya pelajari, namun saya bukanlah pakar perundangan. Jika soalan terlalu mendalam, mungkin kita perlu rujuk kepada yang pakar.

p/s: owh btw, tambahan. 'Ketuanan Melayu' merujuk kepada Raja-raja Melayu, dan bukannya merujuk kepada org Melayu sebagai tuan tanah ini atau sebegainya. Orang Melayu dan bukan Melayu semuanya sama sahaja..semua pun rakyat Malaysia.

Semester result

I got 4.0 for my last semester's result.

My first time getting a 4.0 since high school.

(Heck, did I even once got a 4.0 in high school anyway?)

But why am I not happy and jumping?

Instead, I feel guilty.

Hate it. Urgh.

Of scholarship and a woman

I am getting engaged this Saturday. (yeay!)

However I can't really feel the vibes due to several problems relating to:
(1) scholarship
(2) a woman

Let's go to the first problem: scholarship.

The registrar told me a couple of weeks ago that they would hold a study leave meeting on the 9th of November. However, when I asked for the result today (10th November) they told me that the meeting was postponed to the 22nd November 2009. Then there will be another meeting within a week after that. The problem is, I have to send the acceptance declaration form together with a financial affidavit to ANU latest by the 23rd November 2009. I can't get the financial affidavit on time for sure. And so I sent an email asking to extend the dateline to ANU. Aaa~ hopefully they will consider..

Okay, second problem: a woman.

I am not against befriending the ex after a breakup. I mean, it's fine, as long as both parties know that they are done, and not crossing the limit. (Hey, I am a rational person, okay?) However, contacting your ex again to tell the problem that you have with your current partner is a big no-no.

I am a woman. As a woman, I know that when we tell our relationship problem to a friend, we are actually hoping the friend to understand our problem and console us. I also know that when a woman tells a male friend (especially her ex) about her relationship problem, she actually hoping the male friend to understand and become the 'replacement' for her partner. That's why it is very dangerous for a man to be the crying shoulder for a woman who has a relationship problem with her man. The man will most probably be the rebound.

I am a woman. As a woman, I know that they are at least two types of women on this Earth. One is the loyal women, and the other one is the attention-seeker women. The loyal women will stay by their men's side no matter what, and the attention-seeker women cannot stand being alone and always try to get men's attention, although they already have their own men. Unfortunately, the loyal women don't get that much attention from men due to their more reserved personality, while the attention-seeker women usually get the men's attention because of their usually pleasant (to most men, at least, or as other women call it, gedik) personality. Attention-seeker women usually can get away with almost anything, because they can just wink, and that is enough to melt the other party's heart. To relate to the previous paragraph, attention-seeker women usually tell their relationship problem to male friends, instead of their female friends, because of course, they want attention.

Another problem with the attention-seeker women is that they usually identify one man to be their sort of 'safety net'. The man is usually the loyal-type, who sticks to only one woman at a time, and may even stick to that one particular woman whom he really loves. The attention-seeker woman will usually make herself irresistible to the loyal man and become his one particular woman, so that whenever the attention-seeker woman does something wrong, the loyal man will not mind and forgive the attention-seeker woman anyway, even if the attention-seeker woman actually cheats on the loyal man.

However, after a while usually the loyal man will finally gives up on the attention-seeker woman, and finds a loyal woman as his soulmate. The attention-seeker woman will seek for another man's attention, and the loyal man and the loyal woman will live happily together. A happy ending, isn't it? No. The problem arise when the attention seeker woman face a problem with her current man, and she goes back to the loyal man to tell her problem, in hope that the loyal man will accept her back, or at least be her crying shoulder. After all, the attention-seeker woman sees the loyal man as her safety net, doesn't she?

However, the loyal man has already given up on the attention-seeker woman, and he has his loyal woman by his side. Being a loyal man, he will turn down the attention-seeker woman's hope and stick to his loyal woman instead. However, being the attention-seeker woman, she will most probably try her luck by keeping on contacting the loyal man, knowing that the loyal man may one day accept her back since he had once stuck to her, and with the so-called pleasant personality that she has, she knows that the loyal man can't possibly hate her.

And so the insecure feeling kicks the loyal woman, as she watches the attention-seeker woman trying to seek for the loyal man's attention. As much as the loyal woman trusts the loyal man to remain loyal, she still can't ignore the capability of the attention-seeker woman.

p/s: I think I could turn into a psycho-gf. Hahaha.

Post BTN

I came back from BTN camp yesterday and I slept till noon today. Hohoho.

It was a good and enjoyable camp overall. There was no racism or political agenda being brought up. Of course both topics were brought up, but all were in the form of facts, so that doesn't count. Maybe those who refuse to accept the facts and refuse to think would say BTN is this and that. But of course, some facilitators/lecturers might have said things that sounded racist/political. However I can assure you the module was not. For me, every Malaysian should attend BTN, particularly the one that I just went (considering there are different modules for different target groups).

Anyway, I'll share with all of you what I learned from the camp. But not now..I'm just too sleepy and tired.

Good night everyone.

p/s: balik2 btn tros busy dengan preparation

Kursus Kenegaraan Biro Tatanegara

I got a mail this morning telling me that I would have to go to Kursus Kenegaraan Biro Tatanegara. It will be on the 3rd-7th December 2009.

Thinking back, that is exactly the weekend before my engagement day. Which means I must have prepared everything before going for that camp to avoid going insane at the very last minute. Going for a camp the weekend before the engagement day also means that I will definitely be more tanned/darker on the engagement day.

Darker on the engagement day....

DARKER on THE engagement day...

.....

Should I buy a new foundation after the camp, before the engagement day?

p/s: How I wish my skin would have golden hint to it when it tans, instead of dark brown that makes me look like I was just out of the oven.

Relieved (a little)

I went to see the Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academic and International) this morning. I was late 10 minutes for our appointment (erk?!). Thank God she was cool with it. I felt bad though. Huhu

Anyway, she said to deal with the officer in charge (yes, the one who's on leave for a week). She said the money is with the university now; they only need approval with MOHE. That means I can ignore about the MOHE-won't-sponsor-oversea-master-studies part. And when I told her that I was worried about having to pay the deposit before the dateline and that the dateline is kinda near, she said there's enough time. That made me relieved a little bit. Alhamdulillah.

It sounds quite promising, isn't it? But still, I cannot sit back and do nothing, since everthing is not confirmed yet. So the plan is the same, still--loan from bank (pay them back right away if I end up not using the money), while at the same time apply for all scholarships available.

Bismillahitawakkaltu'alAllah. Amiiin..

p/s: I am going to fill in necessary forms after lunch. Heck, the forms will take a whole day to be filled. (O_o)~

Fight till the end

Called MOHE this morning, asking about my letter. It went something like this:

(blablabla the same boring introduction)
MOHE: You sent the letter by yourself right? Not through your employer (UPM)?
Me: Yes, because the officer in charge is on leave for a week, and I am short of time.
MOHE: The problem is, you have to send the application through your employer, that's the only way for us to know that they have given you the permission to continue your studies abroad. And even so, we still have to see if there is a slot open for another scholar..
Me: Is there any other way? Since I am short of time now..
MOHE: No, you have to send it through your employer
Me: ......okay then. Thank you

This is my reaction after the phone call ---> ('___')

.....

Okay, I think I should think of plan B now.

Lets sort everything out.

Dateline for sending the Declaration of Acceptence to ANU: November 23, 2009 (I need to pay a fee deposit of A$5760.00 by then)

List of scholarships:
1) MOHE - no budget for oversea Masters study (although they sent a letter to the registrar, dated October 21, 2009 about the availability of a scholarship for tutors who are already offered a place in one of the top 20 universities). I can try applying anyway, although the whole process will definitely take at least a month and a half. By then, it's already past the dateline.
2) JPA - do not sponsor those who are working, having a CGPA less than 3.75, and applying for the scholarship more than 1 year after graduation. I am totally not eligible for it. But I can try applying for it anyway. Then again, the person said, the process would take around 2-3 months. It would be past the dateline, again.
3) MARA - application for Skim Pelajar Cemerlang will only be available at the end of the year/early next year. It will difinitely pass the dateline, still.
4) Endeavour Award (Australian Scholarship) - application will only open in December. And that's the second round of the application. The first round was last April. Percentage of getting: I don't know. But I'll try to apply for it anyway. Anyway, I think the whole process will take more than a month..so, it'll pass the dateline, still.
5) MOSTI - not for working people. I will need to resign if I want this scholarship. Still need to look deeper into this.
6) Shell, Sime Darby, and other private sectors - Haven't look into these, yet.

Hmm..it looks like all the scholarships will take more than a month to process. And I only have exactly 5 weeks from today to return the Declaration of Acceptance.

Hmm..I think I will gamble on this.

A$5,760.00 = RM18,027.21

I think I will make bank loan to pay for the deposit first. At the same time, I will apply to all scholarships available. Hopefully someone will sponsor me. Amiin.

Bismillahitawakkaltu'alAllah.

p/s: One main reason why I will fight till the end for this is because the day before I got the offer letter, I was thinking on registering for the GRE test the next day. And also, I did a serious solat hajat, wishing to continue my studies abroad and to get married soon. And of course, I also wished for a better, smooth life, and for a stronger iman. The moment I got the offer letter, it really felt like this is it. It was a very strong instinct. As if I know that this is the path for me. It felt like Allah had granted my wish. Now it's up to me to make it real.

Sponsors, scholarships and loans

I've been actively looking around for scholarships since yesterday.

I went to the registrar today and the officer in charge was on leave for a WEEK. Her assistant said I need to have gone to Biro Tata Negara camp and submit the complete form, before they forward it to the Ministry of Higher Education. That will definitely take months.

So, I decided to go straight to the Ministry of Higher Education. They said;

MOHE: The problem is, we do not sponsor Master students for abroad studies..

Weird isn't it? Registrar said they will forward the form to MOHE...for nothing??

Anyway, I decided to go to Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam right after. They said;

JPA: The problem is, it's been more than a year since you graduated, and you are curently working. We only sponsor those who continue their studies straight away, and are unemployed. (other than needing to have a 3.75 CGPA which clearly I don't have). You can try submit the application, nevertheless.

I've also looked up MOSTI and MARA. MOSTI will only sponsor those who are unemployed, and the application for MARA's Skim Pelajar Cemerlang loan will be too late since they will only be opened sometime in December/January. There is another loan from MARA, but I will need to pay 100% of the amount I owe....RM200k. Erk?!

Being the stubborn me, I wrote an appeal letter to send to MOHE. I sent it this morning by hand, and I told the receptionist, "It's urgent." I will call the person tomorrow hoping he has started working on my issue urgently.

I have also made an appointment with UPM's Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academic and International) to discuss about sponsorship. It will be at 8am, November 19, 2009. Two more days.

Other than that, I have looked through scholarships available at ANU. Most of them are for developing countries, but somehow Malaysia was not listed. I guess they have already considered Malaysia a developed countries. Anyway, I have found at least one or two that I could apply for. The application will only be available in December though. Hopefully it is not too late.

Ahh.. when finally there is an apportunity for me to feel like I have a purpose again, lots of hindrances appear. Well, it is expected. Afterall, what is life without a little fight.

And I know, this is definitely worth the fight.

p/s: like how I 'fight' for our relationship with his mother, although I failed miserably. It was my first meeting with her. But I didn't care. He is definitely worth the fight as well.

What should I do?

I was surprised by an email this morning. It says:

Dear Ms Mohd Pushiri

I am delighted to offer you admission to a program of study at The Australian National University. Details are set out below:

Program: Master of Biotechnology (CRICOS Code: 052702F)
Program Type: Postgraduate
Commencing: First Semester, 2010
Indicative Tuition Cost: A$24,768.00 (per year)
Program Start Date: 22 February 2010
Standard Full-Time Duration: 1 Year

Okay, what should I do?

Currently in my mind, I have this picture:
-Call registrar and force them to give me a scholarship. They get sick of me forcing them, so they give me one, eventually (haha)
-Get everything needed to go study in Australia settled (passport, visa, etc)
-At the same time, get both families convinced to let us marry. They get tired of my continuous request, so they let us marry eventually. (haha)
-Get his necessary documents to follow me to Australia settled too
-Happily flying off to Australia with the beloved husband :)

Okay, back to reality.

The reality is: The dateline for scholarship application was on November 5, 2009. And today is November 13, 2009. I am already 8 days late. *jatuh tergolek2 masuk gaung*

What to do what to do what to do

Am I on the right job?

I watched a program called "Outstanding Malaysians" on TV yesterday. It was on Chef Wan, who are now internationally known.

I learned from the program that Chef Wan was once working in the banking industry (as an accountant, I think) for seven years, before quitting his job and pursuing his passion in cooking. He sold his house, and traveled to California to learn culinary art. He graduated as the best student in his class, and since then he has been cooking all over the world.

Chef Wan's determination to pursue his passion really caught my attention. I admired his determination, hard work, and self-confidence. He gambled everything that he had at that time to pursue his dream. And this makes me think of my life right now.

Am I on the right career?

Living in Malaysia, where the society would most probably 'force' us to do Math and Science at the first sight they saw that we could do it, makes me basically did not have much choice other than studying science and become a scientist. As one of the top students in my primary school, I was offered to go to a boarding school, where everyone had to study pure science. Going into college, I chose biotechnology, as I loved genetics and I did not want to study pure genetics. I did not consider any other choices, as scholarships for other fields were scarce and I did not have any formal education on them.

However, during my college days, I found myself struggling to succeed. Biochemistry could not penetrate well into my brain. I could not make myself remember all the family names of the animals. I even got a C+ in the subject that I was so eager to learn--bacterial genetics. However, I got A's in all the Japanese classes I took. I even found myself very eager to master the language and to study the culture. Unfortunately, Japanese is not my major. And again, I found myself stuck in science.

Now, working as a Tutor, I know I am on the right track to become a scientist. After college, and when starting this job, I was so eager to study Environmental Biotechnology in depth. I was eager to do my own experiments, to learn new things, to know all these mysteries that mother nature had for us. Studying locally or abroad was not a big issue since I believed I could learn the same thing and get the same Master and PhD degree regardless of the place of study.

However, as I started my grad school studies here, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Every class drained my energy. In no time, I realized that I had lost the eagerness and enthusiasm that I had before. My brain did not move as fast. My body did not move as fast. I have turned into a zombie. I work because I need to, not because I want to. I have lost the essences that make me, me. The goal that I have set seem too vague now. I am starting to look for other options. Other career choices.

But then again, I cannot find a thing that I am really passionate about. Maybe that's one of the things that makes it hard to be me. I am too cool and too indifferent about everything that I don't feel too excited about anything. I know I love playing music, learning new languages..both give me satisfaction, but none is my passion, I think. I do not google anything about music or languages. I can do both well, but I know I am not good when I start to study it deeper.

Recently I have started to think about starting my own business. But then, what do I sell? Cakes? Cookies? Dresses? Do I have the time? Can I really make money out of it? Do I have enough knowledge and experiences to start a new business? Owh, I remember, I got a C+ in Business Administration 6 years ago..the course that everyone else got an A. I think that explains everything.

I can't deny that I am in a very insecure and confusing state right now. Theoritically, I am in a job that I should be thankful for. However, in reality, I kinda feel like changing jobs, but obligations make me stay. I need some assurance. Something that can reminds me of my long lost enthusiasm and goal.

And so, I did a career test.

This is what I got:

My personality type is INTJ (Introvert, iNtuation, Thinking, Judging)

INTJ: "Scientist". Most self-confident and pragmatic of all the types. Decisions come very easily. These are the most independent of all types. They love logic and ideas and are drawn to scientific research. They can be rather single-minded, though.. 1% of the total population.

INTJ

INTJs’ precision thinking and need for accuracy causes them to be inflexible at times. Having thought out a strategy, the INTJ may stubbornly disregard those who they think have not spent as much time reflecting on an idea as they have. This, along with their drive to produce something significant, can make them demanding and difficult. If their plans and solutions fall short of their high standards, INTJ's feel pressured — as if everything is on the line. "Everything," for an INTJ, is the competence and ability to produce something significant. Fear of not living up to this expectation will increase their stress and possibly dissuade them from risking or trying out their ideas. They may then find themselves thinking about ideas that do not have a meaningful or productive end. When stress increases, the INTJ can become argumentative and disagreeable. Social interaction, which is not their strength, becomes increasingly difficult for them. Not trusting their own abilities, they become preoccupied with obsessive notions. The INTJ may then find themselves spending an inordinate amount of time fighting horrible thoughts, tempting absurdities, and feelings of worthlessness. Fearful of others recognizing their perceived failure, the INTJ incessantly ruminates about mistakes, inadequacies, weaknesses, ineptness, and incompetence. Because this distracts them from risking what little confidence they may have left in themselves, it therefore keeps them from obtaining the success and achievement they so desperately need. Careers This lists represent careers and jobs people of your type tend to enjoy doing. The job requirements are similar to the personality tendencies of your personality type. It is important to remember that this is not a list of all the jobs possible. And it is very important to remember that people can, and frequently do, fill jobs that are dissimilar to their personality... this happens all the time...and sometimes works out quite well. management consultant economist scientist computer programmer environmental planner new business developer curriculum designer administrator mathematician psychologist neurologist biomedical researcher strategic planner civil engineer intellectual properties attorney designer editor/art director inventor informational-graphics...designer financial planner judge

After reading about INTJ's personality, I think I really am in the state of the bold text above. The current program and classes do not reach the invisible standard that I have set, and so it makes me feel very dissapointed. However, it's good to know that I am actually on the right job. The only thing that is left to do is to make things in order again. Finding that eagerness. That enthusiasm. That energy. Finding me.

And thus, I am seriously thinking about continuing my studies abroad.

I know this decision will create conflicts with my personal life plan, but I believe if we do something sincerely, Allah will help us go through everything smoothly. InsyaAllah.

I am angry

Found this article on utusan online, and I TOTALLY DISAGREE on what they are saying. I mean, if the system works beautifully, we wouldn't be seeing people click with their own kind all the time. Just look at school canteens, malls, buses, everywhere..people tend to stick to their own race, speak their own language. Why? Because we grew up that way! We never got the opportunity to fully understand each other when we were young, at the age where we try to comprehend everything, learn everything, know everything. When we got bigger, we had already been 'told' that this race this and that race that, and and they have stuck almost permanently in our heads. We tend to develop stereotypes towards other races due to our weak understanding towards others.

I mean, really, just look at other multiracial countries like the US. Everyone comes in from different background. They learn how to speak, read, and write in English. They go to American school. They introduce themselves as Americans, although at the same time, they are proud of their roots. The same goes to other multiracial countries like Indonesia. Why aren't these people fighting for their own schools?

It's weird, isn't it? Everytime someone suggests on having a one school system, there'll be lots of people against it. Why? What do they want, actually? Don't they want our country to unite? Don't they love their own country? I mean, as Malaysians, we should not be scared when we are asked to learn in Bahasa Malaysia or to mix with other Malaysians. Plus, I seriously believe that they will still teach Mandarin and Tamil in the school, so they should not be scared that the languages will finally extict, because they won't. Why are they so against it? Do they really want to be Malaysians, or do they want to be citizens of other countries? And plus, if they really serious about merging and unifying everyone together, they should have realized that the main reason that divide us is our school system. I mean, hello~ everyone else knows this~ duhh~

1Malaysia won't work if they stick to this attitude. 1Malaysia requires sacrifice from everyone, especially the leaders.

But instead, our leaders said these:

"Bagi sekolah Tamil, pelajar (India) akan berpeluang bergaul dengan kanak-kanak daripada kaum lain apabila mereka memasuki sekolah menengah,” -Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu

My @$$. Try going to those secondary schools and see how many students actually mix with other races.

"Ia bukan penghalang kepada perpaduan nasional, sebaliknya bantu menerapkan semangat bersatu padu di kalangan masyarakat majmuk,” -Datuk Dr. Wee Ka Siong

And you are calling yourself the Deputy Minister of Education? Bullsh*t. Tell me how it has helped in uniting us together.

Stupid. Frustrating. VERY frustrating. Deym.

I am angry.

p/s: Remember having chinese, indian, singh, and aboriginal in my class when I was in standard 1-3 and it was beautiful.

MIC dan MCA tidak setuju sekolah satu aliran
30/10/2009 7:52pm

KUALA LUMPUR 30 Okt. — MIC dan MCA menentang cadangan melaksanakan sistem pendidikan satu aliran, dengan mengatakan bahawa sekolah jenis kebangsaan yang ada sekarang tidak akan menghalang usaha ke arah mewujudkan perpaduan nasional.

Presiden MIC, Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu hari ini berkata, sekiranya cadangan itu dikemukakan dalam usaha menjalin perpaduan kaum, ada banyak cara lain lagi untuk melakukannya dan bukan melalui sistem pendidikan satu aliran.

"Bagi sekolah Tamil, pelajar (India) akan berpeluang bergaul dengan kanak-kanak daripada kaum lain apabila mereka memasuki sekolah menengah,” katanya kepada pemberita sebelum menyerahkan cek bernilai RM1 juta kepada lebih 50 kuil Hindu di sini.

Sementara itu, Ketua Pemuda MCA, Datuk Dr. Wee Ka Siong berpendapat sistem persekolahan pelbagai aliran patut diteruskan kerana ia tidak akan menjejaskan perpaduan di kalangan masyarakat majmuk negara ini.

"Ia bukan penghalang kepada perpaduan nasional, sebaliknya bantu menerapkan semangat bersatu padu di kalangan masyarakat majmuk,” kata Wee kepada pemberita selepas mesyuarat Jawatankuasa Pemuda MCA di Wisma MCA hari ini.

Dr. Wee yang juga Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran berkata, walaupun bahasa pengantar di sekolah pelbagai aliran bukannya bahasa kebangsaan namun ia tidak menggugat pelajar untuk menghayati konsep 1Malaysia.

- BERNAMA

Complaints

I used to complaint on anything that I found not-up-to-standard in my younger years, until I learned that Islam kinda forbids its followers from complaining a lot. Lots of complaining will make us whiny. Since Islam is a way of life, and being whiny is not the way to live, so that makes sense.

Since then, one of my principle is, "Stop complaining, start working." And it actually worked; I stopped complaining, and I worked a lot.

However, I feel like I cannot live up to that principle anymore. Once I decided to stop complaining, I'd find something that would make me complaint.

Like today, just as I decided to stop complaining about how the program here does not teach the students how to write, I found another thing that makes me start to complaint again.

This morning, I got a courses catalog for next semester. It did not say if it's for undergraduate or graduate only, so I assumed it's a general catalog. Then I flipped straight to the Faculty of Biotechnology and Biomolecular Scieces. Seconds later, I learned that it only listed down all the undergraduate courses.

Deym. Deym. Deym.

Very unorganized.

Tolong la bagi guideline/guidebook ke ape so that students boleh organize diri sendiri. Susah nak plan okay. Ni rase nak lari ni. Naseb la I need the job. Haish.

See, I have started complaining again.

Motivations

On my graduation day, I had this dream of becoming an honorable scientist who would do good for the environment.

When I think back, my motivation at that time was none other than wanting to learn more, to know more, and to contribute more. Money was not my first nor second priority. My first priority was to learn more about environmental biotechnology, and second was to prepare myself to become an excellent academician; so that I could educate the young generation of Malaysia, so that the future Malaysia would be a better place. And the third was the money; so that I could live a comfortable life without having to think too much about money, so that I could help my parents and also provide my future kids with a comfortable life.

It was a noble way of thinking, don't you think?

However, with the current situation, I cannot hang on if I was to hold on to only my previous motivation. The current situation has forced me to find a new motivation to keep me from falling off this program. Hence I was looking for a purpose to stay.

And I think I have found it.

Here are my new motivations:
1. To wear that graduation robe, to get that diploma, and to get flowers. Lots of them.
2. To get a promotion and a higher salary. Money, money, money.
3. To not lose the job, as jobs are scarce

They are superficial and not noble at all--I know--but I need it anyway as without them, I think I could write and send my resignation letter right away. It is sad to think how the situation has changed my motivation that way. People might say that it's my fault for not trying to adapt, but trust me, I have tried, but I failed. The situation is just too disappointing to be accepted. And I know that I am not the only one to feel this way.

Putting my other half aside, I think am not happy with my current life.

Academicians in Malaysia

Story 1:
Last Tuesday I went to my Research Topic class. It is a course for graduate student. I don't really know why they named the course Research Topic because so far I have not felt that I was lectured on how to choose topic for research, instead I was lectured on how to publish paper, how to choose journal, etc.

Anyway, last Tuesday the lecturer was talking something about choosing the right journal, and a little bit on how to write your paper so that it is not rejected. Then the lecturer talked about how to write the methodology section. She said, the methodology section should be detail enough for the readers to understand and to repeat the experiment, but always keep something hidden. She further said that we should not reveal everything because if we reveal everything, then someone else could repeat the exact experiment, and if the person found a better result, what would happen to us? (I think she was saying we would be considered as incompetence)

Anyway, I totally disagree with her statement. I think methodology section should be detail for other researcher to repeat the experiment, and get the same result. If other researcher repeat the experiment and get a better result, that means that maybe we have missed something, or maybe the result of the experiment varies according to the location (for example, my prof told us, the yeast for sourdough bread works only in the bay area, when the bread is done somewhere else, even using the same yeast, the taste of the bread is different..wonder why). And as academicians, we should not be afraid of revealing everything to the other researchers because no matter how the consequences, there is always something to learn. If our result is good, then good for us, and other researchers can do further studies based on what we have found. If our result is not-so-good, then we can always learn from that. Maybe our technique is wrong, or maybe there is something that we have missed. I think we should reveal everything for the sake of the knowledge. And also I think, it is unethical for us to not revealing everything because what if our result is not accurate, and it is used as a foundation for something big, which might effect lives and the planet?

Story 2:
This morning I was having breakfast with my friend. We were chatting and she told me about her superior (a lecturer) who asked her to be lenient when grading lab reports. He told her to give all the students at least an 8/10, not less than that. When my friend said she wanted to check the grammar in the lab reports just for the sake of educating--not grading--the lecturer told her not too. The lecturer also told her that it is okay if she found students who plagiarize.

Okay...what was that?? As a lecturer, as an educator, should he told my friend all those things? Where is his ethics? I totally think that as an educator, as an academician, he should not have said that. A sincere academician and educator will respect knowledge and make sure that all students be graded equally, and the grade that the students receive should reflect the quality of their work. If everyone will get an A, why do we grade in the first place anyway? And plus, saying that it is okay if the students plagiarize? And it does not matter if their grammar is terrible? What kind of graduates do you expect to get from this kind of incompetent, insincere lecturer?

Random:
Another thing that ticks me off is when it comes to writing recommendation letter. I would say, 90% of the time, when a student asks for a recommendation letter from his/her lecturer, the student would have to write the letter him/herself, and the lecturer would just sign the letter. I think this is very unethical. Lecturers are paid to do all these kinda things. And the university/employer who want the recommendation letters do not want to know what the students think of themselves, they want to know what other people think of the students. If we write something about ourselves, that is called personal statement, not recommendation letter.

Sometimes I wonder why some lecturers in Malaysia are so incompetence. I think they are not sincere in doing their job. It feels like they are forced to become lecturers--not because they want to become lecturers--thus, they do their job half-heartedly. As academicians/educators, we should show good examples to the students by being ethical, and by showing the respect and the love to the knowledge. For me, knowledge is something that is too noble to be disrespectful to; it should never be exploited for personal gain. This kind of lecturers really give bad image to the country's education system, and I think they should be brain-washed so that they realize how important and noble their job is, so that they would be more sincere in doing their job.

p/s: praying that I will never be in the same category as these incompetent and insincere lecturers.

Culture shock?

I had a 3-hour class this morning. Or more precisely, 2-and-a-half hour.

The class was scheduled from 8-11 am every Tuesday. I wanted to leave the house earlier today, but I woke up late (6:05 am) and had to rush to work. I quickly ate some fried rice at home and brought a bottle of plain water with me so that I had something to push down the fried rice. I left the house at 6:47 am, hoping the traffic would not be so bad.

After about an hour of driving, I reached my office. I punched in, boiled some water to make myself a cup of tea. After drinking half a mug, I rushed for my class. It was 8:00 am.

Reaching there, I was expecting a class full of people (it was 8:05am). Instead, I found myself to be the first one to enter the classroom. The projector was on, but the light was not. I switched on the light, took a seat, and not long after, a few students came in. It was 8:10 am, and the lecturer was nowhere to be seen.

8:25 am: the lecturer still had not come yet.

8:30 am: finally the lecturer arrived, but the class had not started.

8:35 am: the lecturer asked, "Can we start now?" I was like, "Are you serious??" In my mind, of course..

Then the class went on for the next 2 and a half hour..a boring 2 and a half hour, to be exact. It was a 3 credit hour class..so we are supposed to meet for 3 hours every week (unlike in UCD, where 3 credit hour is equivalent to 1 hour lecture or 3 hours lab).

I don't have any problem with meeting for 3 hours every week. The problem is, it was a straight 3 hours. I will be much happier if they split the class into two sessions of 1.5 hours each. And since the lecturer did not have much to say anyway, she kept on rambling about unimportant stuff just to fill that 3 hours. Sometimes she gave like 10 examples (okay I exaggerated) for a point that she was trying to convey. Or sometimes she elaborated an example for 15 minutes (okay, I exaggerated again). But you get the point. The 3-hour class was not properly filled, nor it is used effectively.

Added with the dimmed lighting (the light was off to get a better view of the slide show, and since there was only one switch for all the lights, we had to turn them all off), many of us fell sleepy and eventually fell asleep (or at least, me).

Somehow I felt like I have succeeded in wasting my time this morning. I barely got anything from the class, since I have already learned most of the things that she said during my undergrad life.

A 3-hour class is too long. I am confident to say that the points that the lecturer was trying to teach could have been cramped into a 1-hour lecture. So, instead of having a 3-hour boring and slow lecture, they could just made it into a 1-hour fast (and maybe more interesting) lecture, and gave us assignments to fill in those extra 2 hours.

And plus, I am not used to starting the class late. For me, 8:00 am means 8:00 am, and not 8:30 am (although I came in a lil bit late, because I knew everyone would be late anyway). She said, last week she told the class that she would start the class at 8:30 am since she did not want to rush everyone to come in at 8:00 am (I missed last week's class because I was not registered yet at that time). However, I am sure that 8:30 am means at least close to 8:45 am. Hah.

O well, I hope I will survive this program. I aim to finish in a year, although I know that is a bit ambitious. Hoho.

p/s: I miss the ever-exciting-and-enthusiastic class environment. The students here do not seem too excited about learning. O well, I guess we cannot blame them. Blame the boring class, I would say. Or maybe the learning culture, in general.

p/s/s: I miss the road-filled-with-fast-bicycles too. I miss to see students rushing to their next class. Let it be running or cycling. It's exciting. It makes us want to rush to class too. (And I did. I was literally running to some of my classes. And sometimes I would bike as fast as I could.)

p/s/s/s: It's funny to think that, even without the attendence sheet, the students in UCD were very enthusiastic about going to class, and they would try to come in at least 5 minutes before the class started. But here, even with the attendence sheet, the students would take their sweet time to get to class. O well, again, we cannot blame them. There is no reason to come early anyway. The lecturer is always late. At least 5 minutes.

p/s/s/s/s: Okay, it should have been p/s/s or p/p/s? p/s means postscript, right? So, postpostscript makes much more sense than postscriptscript, right? But I think, there is no such thing as p/s/s or p/p/s. I think there should only be p/s. Hahah.

Math and Science in English?

Logging into facebook this morning and found this article.

This issue about teaching of science and math in English has been going on for quite a while. Some people wanted the subjects to be taught in English, while others thought that the policy is just bullsh*t. So the government finally has made the decision to drop English as the medium of teaching, and go back to using BM/Mandarin/Tamil, starting 2012. Although the decision was said to be final, the commotion is still there. Those who wanted the subjects to be taught in our mother tongues rejoiced, while others were disappointed.

I personally agree with the government's decision. I know some of you disagree with me because of the obvious reasons--the language for science and math is English, English is the language of the world, without English, we cannot go anywhere, yadayadayada. Yes, I agree with those statements, but I have my own reason for agreeing with the government's decision.

My main reason for supporting the decision is, for me, groping the main ideas and basic concepts in science and math comes first before being able to explain those ideas and concepts in English. Science and math are both considered as killer subjects to most people, which means both subjects are difficult to be understood. Even to Americans, algebra is hard. And they learn that in English--their mother tongue. And how can we expect our students to be able to grope and master math and science when these subjects are taught in English, which is our second or third language? Without a strong understanding of the subjects, we still cannot produce good scientists and mathematicians.

I have talked to a science teacher, teaching form1-3 students. She said, when she taught in English, they did not want to listen because they did not understand. Ended up, sometimes she had to explain it in BM just to make the students understand. And although the students have to answer exam questions in English, apparently it is fine for them if they use the wrong grammar, as long as the key word is there, and as long as they examiners can understand what the students trying to explain. (Of course, if wrong grammar would make the answer wrong, almost everyone would fail)

Let's think for a second here. The main reason for teaching math and science in English is to produce science students with a good command in English, and they are hoped to become world-known scientists and mathematicians in the future. However, looking back at what I have written in the above paragraph, this policy does not serve the purpose, since wrong grammar = bad english = bad scientists. Let's try to put this thing in equation so that we can see it better.

(S&M refers to science and math, not the other thing)

Introduction:

English is the language of S&M. Our problem is,

S&M taught in mother tongue => good scientists, bad English => bad scientists

Solution (method):

Teaching of S&M in English

Hypothesis:

Teaching of S&M in English => good scientists, good English => excellent scientists

However, result:

Teaching of S&M in English => cannot undertand S&M => bad scientists

Teaching of S&M in English => does not help in mastering English => bad English, still

Thus,

Teaching of S&M in English => bad scientists, bad English => even worst scientists

Conclusion:

Teaching of S&M in English does not produce better scientists, instead, it makes it worst.

So, what went wrong?

Maybe we have overlooked something. We expect teaching of science and math in English would produce a good scientist with a strong command in English. Our main problem here is our students, even the top scorers in math and science, have a weak command in English. This shows that we don't have a problem with our method of teaching science and math. The problem is in our method of teaching English. Even for the non-science students, their command in English is bad. It has been English all the way. Then why are we trying to mess up with science and math?? We should have been messing up with English!

I think the reason why we messed up with science and math in the first place is because our parents' generation said, "My friends who went to English school, learned science and math in English, and had no problem. They understood science and math just fine. So, what's with all the ruckus?" However, they forgot that those who went to English schools from non-English schools had to do, if I am not mistaken, a year of some sort of preperatory program. Or maybe less than a year, I am not sure. But the point is, they were prepared before learning everything in English. It's the same concept as sending students for preparatory program before flying off to oversea for college--the program that I was in. For at least a year, we were taught the language of the country that we were going to for college, so that we would be well-prepared to learn everything in a different language. We were well-prepared, but these students who have to learn science and math in English at school are not prepared, thus explains the unsatisfactory result.

I am not saying that teaching of science and math in English is wrong. It is not wrong. But the students have to be prepared before they are ready to learn those subjects in English. They have to master English first, before they can learn and master the subjects in English. Or, they can master the subjects first in their mother tongue, master English second, before they can master the subjects in English. Either way, they have to master English.

There, we have come back to English being the main problem.

I am still with my stand. We have to change our method of teaching English. Our current method is not effective at all. The curriculum should focus on all aspecst of the language--reading, writing, listening, speaking--and it should be taught at least for an hour everyday. Make it a habit. Then only we can master English. In fact, this should be implemented to the learning of other new languages as well.

p/s: From my observation, most of the people who want the subjects to be taught in English come from the city, or are not aware of the difficulties that the students from rural area have to face when they are forced to learn science and math in English. We should be aware that the probability of these students hearing/using English in their everyday life is close to zero.

p/s/s: I had expressed my disappointment about Malaysians who cannot speak BM. For goodness sake, they ARE Malaysians. Aren't they ashamed of themselves? However, someone told me that these people cannot speak BM because they do not use BM in their everyday life, so we should not blame them. So, are we saying it is okay for Malaysians to have a bad command in BM, but it is not okay for Malaysians to have a bad command in English? Dimanakah jati diri kita sebagai anak bangsa Malaysia?