Tuesday, August 25, 2009


On my graduation day, I had this dream of becoming an honorable scientist who would do good for the environment.

When I think back, my motivation at that time was none other than wanting to learn more, to know more, and to contribute more. Money was not my first nor second priority. My first priority was to learn more about environmental biotechnology, and second was to prepare myself to become an excellent academician; so that I could educate the young generation of Malaysia, so that the future Malaysia would be a better place. And the third was the money; so that I could live a comfortable life without having to think too much about money, so that I could help my parents and also provide my future kids with a comfortable life.

It was a noble way of thinking, don't you think?

However, with the current situation, I cannot hang on if I was to hold on to only my previous motivation. The current situation has forced me to find a new motivation to keep me from falling off this program. Hence I was looking for a purpose to stay.

And I think I have found it.

Here are my new motivations:
1. To wear that graduation robe, to get that diploma, and to get flowers. Lots of them.
2. To get a promotion and a higher salary. Money, money, money.
3. To not lose the job, as jobs are scarce

They are superficial and not noble at all--I know--but I need it anyway as without them, I think I could write and send my resignation letter right away. It is sad to think how the situation has changed my motivation that way. People might say that it's my fault for not trying to adapt, but trust me, I have tried, but I failed. The situation is just too disappointing to be accepted. And I know that I am not the only one to feel this way.

Putting my other half aside, I think am not happy with my current life.


TrUe SeLf said...

x eppy?huhuhu...;(

Fiza Pushie said...

i happy dgn you la busuk :-*

O-man said...

in my personal opinion, the intelligent ones were misdirected into believing in an ideal world.
So here you are, together with the rest of bright minds becoming scientist, doctor, engineer, etc.
Especially in malaysia, these ppl work their ass off but r underpaid or carrying too much workload.
On d other hand, we have some people who happily swing clubs, kick spherical object, join auditions, post their vids on utube & get famous..and they're enjoying the pleasure that dznt exist among 'professional workers'. When was the last time people respect you for trying to save the environment? & how many even give a damn?
We r no different than the fishermen & farmers. Struggling hard to make a living & care about others' life. But at the end of the day, it's the middleman who get the final laugh...just because he sits in the middle scratching his ass, then use the same stinky hand to count the money.

Fiza Pushie said...

That's true. Sometimes I feel there's no point of working so hard trying to save the environment and got paid just enough for myself when I could have learned how to count money and got paid much higher.

The way the system works, sucks. Those who work to provide the necessities to the community are being underpaid, while those who work to provide unnecessary things are being overpaid.

Anyway, I think the salary in Malaysia is generally too low when we take into account what one has to pay every month. But that calls for another entry...later.

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