Wednesday, August 12, 2009


I've been wanting to write in this blog..but somehow I did not find a time to write. O well~

Anyway, here are some update on what has been going on for the past couple of weeks..

Bye-bye Tokmak!

Last week's Tuesday (August 4, 2009) was the day for my family to grieve. My grandmom passed away at 6:40pm due to pneumonia with cold aglution (?) disease. It was a very sad event for all of us. Tokmak had always been a very good mother and grandmother. She was soft spoken, and rarely..or more to never, nags. She did all the housework patiently. I had never heard her complaining about having to do all the housework alone. She was a good person.

The next day, everyone came for her funeral. All of us had the chance to kiss her goodbye for the last time. I saw her face for the first time after she breathed her last breath. I couldn't help from feeling sad, and tears started to gather in my eyes. I kissed her forehead. She was cold, and hard, like a ceramic. After kissing her, I walked to the kitchen, trying to find a place where I can be alone and cry. I never thought that I would cry that hard that day. The thought of not having her around always bring me to tears, even until now. I miss her.

p/s: That night when she passed away, I went to bed thinking of her. Then I felt like I was hugged from behind while I was sleeping. I am sure that it wasn't anyone else. I am pretty sure it was her.

Group presentation

Last Monday, we had to do group presentation for our class. I was the group leader (self-claimed since there was no one else volunteered to take charge), and at the last minute, I learned that one of the students who was supposed to present fell sick and was asked to stay at home. As a good leader (?!) I volunteered myself to replace her.

So there I was, presenting in front of the class. Holding the microphone..listening my own voice coming out from the speaker. It was a good presentation, I think, and everything went well. After the class, a few people came up to me complimented me on my presentation. I was like, "Owh, thanks. Hehe"

Have I ever mentioned that I enjoy talking in front of people? I don't know why, but somehow it gives me satisfaction. And I also enjoy organizing events or something. It is satisfying to see something that I have been working on going as planned. Or even if it is not going too well, at least I know that I have tried my best. Maybe it's the adrenaline..

p/s: Maybe I should consider changing my job from being a tutor to being a motivator. hehehe..

Grad school

With the owh-so-dissapointing classes, I was seriously thinking about finding a grad school overseas. However, I was called in by the dean today, and he told (or more to forced) me to convert my Master program to a PhD program by at least next semester, and to finish my PhD within 3 years. And there it goes, my hope of finding a better place to do my grad school. I guess I have no choice but to finish my PhD as soon as possible here. I hope I will survive this grad school.

O well, I think I should just focus on finishing it as soon as possible. At least, after getting my PhD, I don't have to think about this thing anymore, and I can be pretty well happy with my pay at that time..haha


Hmm..that's it I think. Hmm..that's quite boring, although I swear I have more things to write about, but being me, I forgot most of them. Haha. Till my brain finds back all those lost thoughts. Have a nice day, people! :)


LuN said...

Takziah, peja.
be kuat, ok!

oman said...

oh kau buat aku rindu nenek aku, aku panggil dia mak tok. hari dia meninggal, aku plan nk klua dgn kengkwn <-- mcm bangsat. but end up aku dgn bibik yg uruskn rumah nk sambut jenazah beliau

melayu kan resmi padi..
..tak btempat

eh i thought kau jd tutor then dpt offer smbg overc~ /*Adekah ini salah satu agenda kejar status Universiti Apex?*/

Fiza Pushie said...

lun: thanks! :)

oman: mase nenek aku meninggal, aku, ajoy and shahir tgh borak2 kosong kat marvellous. huhu. and sambung oversea tu utk phd je since scholarship utk master oversea takde (for this year, at least). but then, skrg kawan aku dapat offer phd oversea, diorang kate dah abes dah scholarship utk phd oversea. aku rase ini adalah satu agenda kejar status universiti apex. alah~ uni apex konon. org plagiarize masih berlambak, lecturer datang kelas lambat..kalo dapat status uni apex pon buat malu je. (okay, kalo ade org atasan upm bace ni, kemungkinan aku kene buang keje adalah tinggi. haha. tapi diorang perlu accept the fact. ini adalah komen membina)

oman said...

wow shahir masih hidup LoL
chotto matte. adekah kawan anda itu dr local U, or UPM itself?
aku berhipotesis agenda apex bdasarkan faktor2 yg ko berikn.
1) kau disuruh convert ke phd = u need to submit & publish more paper
2) ko digesa siapkan dlm 3 tahun = the uni is capable of producing a postdoc in a short time
3) ur not sent overcs = theres no running away m8. ur gona be our lecturer (& hence, the so called 'pioneer'. boleh ko blagak dgn student nnt: "I am one of the people behind the apex uni status. HoH!")

but kalo nk pk +ve, they think ur damn good, ull be able to do it w/o sweat. no agenda.

Fiza Pushie said...

ye, shahir masih hidup dan sihat. haha
kawan aku tu ex-ukm.
comments on your hypothesis:
1) convert to phd = cepat habis. tak buang masa. cepat boleh jadi lecturer
2) digesa siap cepat = cepat dapat phd. cepat dpt ganti lecturer yg nak bersara. cepat diorang boleh bersara.
3) not sent oversea = (a)undergrad dah oversea, bg org lain (b)buat kat upm, banyak paper publish under upm, cepat la upm dapat apex status.

haha yup, they think i'm damn good (regardless all those B's and C's on my transcript. haha) that i'll be able to do it without sweat. but the truth is, i'm sweating since environment sini tak condusive lah. camne ye..tak membantu membina motivasi untuk belajar. slow je sume org. aku pon dah slow nih. haish.

oman said...

hahah ur 1 2 3 is mine in an organized order LoLz

trust me, when all ur labmates r wearing slipa jepun, ull be wearing a pair sooner or l8er
/*pengalaman peribody*/

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