Tangkap khalwat

(written on May 14, 2009)

I just watched video on tangkapan khalwat and also read about it in a forum..

(Just in case you all wonder why I searched for those stuffs in the internet..it all started with a conversation I had with my friends during breakfast this morning..anyway~~)

Watching the video, uneasiness started crawling in my vein. Not really with the doers, but with the people catching these couples..who I assumed were from Jabatan Agama Islam, somewhere. I am not saying that it is okay for couples to do those things, especially in public, but the way they were caught and humiliated the couples after that is, I think, violating their rights.

These people who caught them, record a video of them doing whatever that they do, then ask them in a raised voice "Dah kawin?!" and still keep on recording the video--focusing on their faces and all. If they say it is for proving purposes, fine. But how did these videos end up on youtube? Plus, without blurring the faces whatsoever?

Firstly, I think recording a video is quite unnecessary, since even in Islam, 4 witnesses is enough to prove that they did what they did. However, some people say that the video is to strengthen the eye-witnesses say. Okay, fine. But it shouldn't be made public. It is humiliating. And it is not Islamic at all to humiliate someone in front of other people, what more to the whole world. Plus, sometimes the couples did nothing. Some couples were just sitting, with gap in between and not touching, and still got caught! Some people are not even Muslims, and they weren't even kissing or hugging! I mean, seriously..they were humiliated for no reason, and it's not cool to do that. However, some people say it is to remind other people not to do it. Okay, fine. But they could have blurred their faces first, before putting it on youtube, right?

Secondly, the way they ask is inappropriate (i think there's another word for it, but I cannot think of any). They raise their voice and asked, "dah kawin?!" They cannot be sure that those couples aren't married yet, can they? What if the couples are married? Free humiliation, again, to both the couples and them. And plus, the way they ask makes the couples startle, and thus the couples would answer to whatever that they ask. Okay, that's not really a big deal, but what if they were actually criminals pretending to be the people from Jabatan Agama Islam and asking for these couples' identity card? How can these couples be sure that they really are from JAI? My mom once said, even if a person dressed like a policeman comes to us and asks for our IC, asks for their police batch first. They could be criminals. Same goes to these people who claim that they are from JAI. So I think, instead, they could have introduced themselves (and show their staff card, if necessary) and asked politely, "kami dari blablabla, encik dah kawin?" so that if the couples are married, they can ask for kad nikah and apologize and go away without being humiliated, and if the couples are not, then they can proceed with the right procedure. Kata berbudi bahasa amalan kita, kan?

(owh, suddenly my chain-of-thoughts was distracted and I cannot find the other half!)

......

Anyway, most people commented that these couples should have gotten married and not be doing all those things in the first place. Basically, they blame the couples 100%. But I say it's not 100% the couples' fault. Again, I am not saying what they did was right, but, think again, how much does it cost to get married?(Thanks to our society, we need to invite everyone--satu kampung, 2,3,4 pupu--to our wedding, or else people will say things) How complicated it is to get married? (Also thanks to our society, the older sister needs to get married first, or the guy needs to support his family first, or they need to be engaged first for at least a year, or the hantaran cannot be too low or else people will say things). Although I agree that most probably most of these couples do not have the intention of marrying each other, but I believe at least some of them do, but due to these reasons, they cannot. Some people might argue that if the guy really wanted to marry the girl, he should've protected her and not be doing all those things to her, but I would say, they are just human. For someone to be wanting to marry someone else proves that there is attraction between them, and thus all these things happen. To err is human, and thus, not everyone is strong enough to keep the boundaries..

(okay, I've lost my chain-of-thoughts again..)

So anyway, I think, one way to reduce this social problem (other than strengthening the way religion is taught in class and at home) is by the society to not be too strict on the marriage and wedding process. If both the guy and the girl have met the requirements and they want to get married, the parents should just let them. Put the what-other-people-would-say thinking aside. It's better to get humiliated for not inviting everyone to the wedding, or for not having the highest hantaran than get humiliated for doing inappropriate things..but then again, the people who still have this kind of thinking are mostly from the older generations, who, will most probably, not be reading this entry.

ps: Some people said that sometimes these people who catch couples punch/hit the couples first (including the girls) before bringing them in for justice. I mean, hello?

pss: Someone in the forum wrote that he and his wife got caught a lot of times by these Jabatan Agama people. Then another person wrote that her husband got pissed and hit the person who caught them. That's hardcore. haha